Woman refuses to be guardian to half-sister dad had with mistress; is called 'monster.'
AITA for telling my dad that if something happens to him and his wife, I wouldn't take my half-sister?
My mom passed away a few years ago, during that time, we discovered that my dad had been cheating on her with a girl my age. His whole family disowned him and cut contact with him except for me.
I (26F) guess that at that time, I wasn't ready to let go of both my parents at the same time, but over these last 5 years, I've been able to gradually let go to the point I only see him (them) twice or thrice a month–it's like I have no family left.
Don't get me wrong, I also blame the girl for what happened, but the responsibility toward my mom and me was my dad's, not her.
They eventually had my half-sister (4F) and from what I've heard and know, my dad and his wife are living paycheck to paycheck. They're on a budget and in a rental home since everyone in the family changed the will.
My dad didn't get the house because it was an eventual inheritance from my grandparents, but since she died first, I'm the solely benefactor from both sides since my paternal grandparents skipped my dad.
Now, two days ago I went to visit him because it was his birthday, and he said he and his wife wanted to talk to me. I was like ''eehh, 'kay?'' They said that they wanted me to be the legal guardian of my half-sister in case something happened to the, mainly because I'll have the means for it.
My dad's wife parents are able to care for her, but to an extent only, and that I'll have the needed money to take care of a innocent child. I said no, not for the money, but because I just don't wanna.
I'm not close to my sister and currently I don't see nor want myself taking care of a child, much less, the reminiscent of my mom's last heartbreak. I said that I was willing to pass a monthly check (like a child support payment, but less than that since she's not my kid) but that was the only thing I was willing to do.
My dad cried, saying that she was his baby and I was able to be a good sister like I was raised to, but I just laughed and said that he was no one to talk about right and wrong, and that he and his wife should have thought of that before cheating.
His wife called me a monster and kicked me out of the house. I left. Later that night I sent my dad a text informing him of my decision to cut ties with him, completely, and that from now on we'll be no contact unless it's an emergency. He's begging me to reconsider. I don't know if I'm right or wrong. AITA?
Info:
His wife is 26, my dad is 50, as far as I know, he's not having health problems at the moment, but I know my paternal side of the family is diabetic and has heart problems.
He might be sick too, but he hasn't said anything and I don't want to ask.
I know life can change in a blink, but it'll be hard for me to love someone I don't even speak with, even if she's my half-sister. I've made my peace with it, and my mind, she doesn't have a place in my life and I'll probably keep it that way.
I'll only help if both of them pass away, that's why I mentioned the monthly check, my dad refused, so I guess that's not going to happen. I won't start a college fund for her, she's not my responsibility, and even if they both pass before she goes to college, I won't cover that, only minor expenses.
Comments:
NTA. They were just getting started. The first step was to get you to agree to be her guardian if something happens to them. Once they have established that you care about your half sister and want to help her, then they will ask you to buy her extra clothes for her birthday or take her school shopping.
Then they'll ask for help because they short for rent and need to make sure your half-sister isn't homeless. Run, and don't look back.
EmeraldBlueZen says:
OP, good on you for not getting caught in a slippery slope. First its expenses for little sis you agreed to be the guardian to, then its expenses for her they can't cover, saving for her college expenses, then its expenses for them in general to keep sis (and them) housed and fed, and then who knows what else.
Its not worth it and good on you for not getting guilt tripped into this mess.