Woman returns husband's birthday gift to pay daughter money he 'owes' her.

AITA for returning my husband's birthday gift to pay for the birthday cake my daughter baked after he refused to pay her?

My daughter (16) has a thing for baking. She bakes cakes and some sweets. She makes money by selling her work to relatives, friends and supposedly us!

My husband's (her stepdad's) 45th birthday took place a few days ago. He asked my daughter to bake him the birthday cake and she agreed. I told him about paying her, to which he responded 'pfff pay her? Get outta here, I'm her dad!'

I insisted he pay, saying she's 'a yes' person, and a people's pleaser, so she won't outright demand the money from him. He said he'd pay, but days went by and he didn't pay her a cent.

I decided to go ahead and sell the wrist watch I bought him as his birthday present, and pay her with that money. He found out and went off on me. I told him he had had enough time to pay her, and he should have paid her even before he received the cake.

He said that I was teaching her to treat familial relationship as 'transactional,' and raising her to be 'materialistic.' I explained to him that the time, effort, and even the money she put towards making the cake was significant, but he lashed out calling me an a**hole for raising my daughter to expect so much from family.

He's furious and told the whole family about how I took back his birthday gift and returned it. I got enough shame from family members to begin to think that I might be an a**hole for how I dealt with this.

AITA? Ya'll, my daughter did want and expect to be paid. If she intended for it to be for free then I would have kept my mouth shut. And also the wristwatch isn't expensive. I kept the rest of the money after giving my daughter her share.

INFO:

dwotw asks:

Did she spend her own money to make this cake? Was she fine with making the cake without getting payment?

F54tughi556 OP's response:

Yes, what she gets from me not him.

SciFiChickie asks:

Have you talked to your daughter, did she want to be paid? I ask because if my step asked me to make a cake for their birthday, I would consider it my gift, and wouldn’t expect to be paid.

F54tughi556 OP's response:

Yes of course she did. She said it herself but did not say it to him directly.

Here's what people think:

IrelandsFire says:

Why the heck should he pay his own stepdaughter to make him a cake for his birthday? I really don’t get it. Why is everyone making it such a big business transaction when it should just be a stepdaughter making SD a cake because she cares about him? I mean if anything she could use it as like.. publicity for her baking on social media. YTA

pzilla31 says:

YTA imagine having to pay your own family on your birthday to have them make you a cake. No one cares enough about him to at least bake him a cake or pay for it. Wow. Somehow if the step dad stumbles across this thread: get out now while you can, you deserve better!

todayithinkthis says:

I’m making a pan of lasagne for my son’s birthday tomorrow. I guess I’m supposed to charge him for it? Weird.

BoozeIsFoods says:

YTA... Why is this even a question? You should have offered to pay for the cake if money was an issue - IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY