Stay-at-home stepdad calls out wife's ex after he calls him a 'nanny' as an insult.

There's nothing quite like the tension between a man and his ex-wife's new husband. While there's certainly some universe full of unity and maturity where the two can get along, that's not often the universe that we live in.

Luckily, for all of us nosy folks who love a story, this means the internet is full of conflicts between stepdads and original dads.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for calling out his wife's ex at a BBQ.

He wrote:

AITA for correcting my step-daughter’s dad when he called me her nanny?

I’ve been with my wife for 8 years now. She has primary custody of her daughter, Santana (9). Santana sees her dad Mark every other weekend and some holidays. As I’ve been one of Santana’s primary caretakers for the past 7 years (since I moved in with her mom), I’ve taken care of her more than Mark has, and we are quite close.

My wife and I went on to have 2 children together, who are now 5 years and 18 months. I’ve been a stay-at-home dad since the 5-year-old was born. As a result, I’m the one making lunches, driving kids to activities, etc. That includes for Santana. Mark has always felt insecure about my place in Santana’s life.

I’ve always encouraged her relationship with her dad, while also being a place she can go to in order to vent about both her parents. I’ve never asked her to call me dad, but I’ve made it clear I love her the same as her siblings. And she’s also said she loves me and considers me her second dad. Mark also mocks me for my SAHD role. My wife always shuts him down and I just ignore him.

He has in the past jokingly called me Santana’s nanny and I just roll my eyes and say “whatever you think, Mark”. I really don’t see him much as my wife will take Santana to her dad’s and pick her up. However, yesterday, my wife was sick and asked me to pick up Santana. She really couldn’t get out of bed and I knew Mark wasn’t going to drive out to us (he’s refused in the past).

So, I went over to his place to pick her up. He was throwing a BBQ and had some family there. I had never met any of them. Santana ran into my arms, excited to see me and shouting my name. A few people looked at Mark curiously. He laughed and said “That’s Santana’s nanny.” I shook my head and said “I’m her step-father, Greg. Nice to meet you all.”

Mark turned red and barely said goodbye to Santana. I didn’t think much of it outside Mark just being Mark. However, Mark texted my wife later saying I “humiliated him” and given I’d likely never see those people again, I shouldn’t have said anything.

My wife told him he’s overreacting and he then texted me, saying I had no right to correct him in his own home. He asked what was the big deal in his family thinking I’m her nanny?

People had a lot to say about this Mark character.

CompleteSavant878 wrote:

NTA but man Mark must be feeling really insecure about himself that's for sure.

You're doing great Greg. Santana is lucky to have you.

SrslyPissedOff wrote:

What? No! NTA. And you certainly didn't humiliate anyone.

'He asked what was the big deal in his family thinking I’m her nanny?'

Did you respond 'because it's not the truth?'

Ok-Profession-9372 wrote:

NTA. He humiliated himself.

You sound like a great parent.

Senior_Sentence6230 wrote:

NTA, and not just for what you said, he has probably told everyone there at some point a story about his ex and partner, you turn up, nice and pleasant, his daughter clearly adores you, and l can see people putting together the puzzle and coming up with a different picture, and he was caught in his own bulls#$t.

LotsofCatsFI wrote:

NTA. If Santana witnessed this, you should tell her that you love her and you love your role as her step-father. Let her know that Mark's comments about you being the 'nanny' upset you, because you are a much more important person in her life than a nanny would be. Make sure Santana knows that you care about her and that her father's comments are hurtful for that reason.

beanfiddler wrote:

Lol, you're so NTA. If you just dryly said “I’m her step-father, Greg. Nice to meet you all,' that's a great sick burn and the classy way to handle it. He was humiliated because he humiliated himself. If he has a personal stake in making his family believe you're the nanny it seems like he's been telling lies to his family about who you are and that he is playing a lot bigger role in Santana's life than he actually is.

That's not your job to get in the middle of that drama, but you don't have to let him lie about you in public to your face without correcting him. I think you said the right thing. There's no need to let him save face and participate in his lies.

Clearly OP is NTA, Mark just sounds deeply insecure about how he's doing as a father.