15 people who cut off a toxic friend share their breaking point and what happened.
Friend breakups are the worst. Sometimes, they're even worse than romantic breakups, because you don't anticipate them the way you do with romance. When you start dating someone, there's always the possibility of the breakup that looms as a question mark. But when you befriend someone, that's not a concern on the table.
However, just as people grow apart, discover incompatibility, and hurt each other in romance, the same can happen in friendships. And oftentimes, the aftermath feels even messier and more confusing to navigate.
In a popular Ask Reddit post, people who cut off a toxic friend shared their breaking point and what ultimately happened.
1. From UnderstandingSad3160:
I had known this guy since kindergarten and was friends with him through our early twenties. Towards the end of the friendship he started displaying some really self-destructive behavior. Excessive d$#g use, drunk driving, opening car doors while on the highway and trying to jump out, etc…a little over a year ago we had gone out drinking in a neighboring town and his girlfriend was our sober driver.
On the way back home they got into an argument and he pulled the hand brake while we were going about 75 down the freeway. We slammed into the median and somehow we all walked away with very minor injuries. We got towed back to our town and I haven’t spoken to him since.
2. From TrailerParkPrepper:
I quit giving him money (that I knew he wouldn't pay back) and free cigarettes.
He left and hasn't been back.
3. From jeffbezosburner69:
She started stalking me to make sure I wasn’t hanging out with other people. Full on crazy, I don’t really think about her much anymore.
4. From GloomyHorse4961:
My best friend lied and told my then-boyfriend that I was cheating on him, while simultaneously talking s#$t about him to be to get me to break up with him. I confronted her, and she buckled and acted like the victim. We still have the same classes together, so I see her occasionally. I don't care to fix things with her even if she has apologized many times.
5. From GOODahl:
Her addictions ruined her life. She refused to complete rehab.
Hence, no friend to be friendly with.
6. From Worldly_Walnut:
I had a friend freshmen and sophomore year of college who was really fun to hang with and party with, but liked to party hard. A little too hard occasionally, but I stuck up for him because 1) the only person he was hurting (at the time) was himself, and 2) I was right there having a good time with him, although not (usually) going as hard as he would.
Then one night he punched his girlfriend. Cut him out of my life entirely at that point.
7. From Divio42:
It was after a funeral for a girl that I was friends with and had an on-and-off open relationship with. Several of us were at a diner. Out of nowhere, he starts bragging about chugging a bottle of vodka and f#$%ing her. I knew he was lying, too. He could never handle his alcohol for one. He would have puked and passed out long before he got that far.
Also, she would have told me because we were open about that stuff. I wouldn't have even cared if it was true but it was the day of her f@$king funeral and that disrespectful f$%k thought that was a good thing to talk about. F#%k you Punty. I hope by some off chance you read this because 20+ years later and I still think you are a massive piece of s#$t .
8. From Properdabber:
She was down for free dinners/treats, my clothes, and whatever she could get. I planned a nice birthday for her and when it came to my birthday she casually gave me a couple of used ugly expired lipsticks. When she did that it made me realize that she made no effort for me when it was her turn to show me that she cared.
When we both got into our own relationship at around the same time and hers didn’t work out, she started acting jealous/nasty towards me. This changed the relationship for the worse. I said my goodbyes and cut her out of my life and we now have no contact. It’s taken some time get over it but I’m accepting of it now and my life is better with no drama from her.
9. From The68Guns:
It was around 1992 and he was just bent on breaking apart our friend group. I found out he was listening in on phone conversations and twisting what my wife and I said all over the place. No big loss, we don't miss him.
10. From Thick_Pen2097:
When you hang out with a friend, you should feel emotionally recharged after your time together. If you continually feel emotionally exhausted after spending time with a friend, that friend is actually an emotional leech and needs to be cut loose.
11. From ACBluto:
I had a good friend for 15+ years. My wife and I let him live in our finished basement for months, rent-free, after he was kicked out from his father's house (as an adult, having moved back in due to lack of funds). He stayed for 90 days longer than we had originally set out in the agreement, and was messier than we liked.
The final straw was that he spilled something on the carpet and didn't clean it up. My wife texted him and asked him to clean it up, several times over a week. Finally, she gave him a deadline to get it done. He got irate, started calling her names and insulting her.
That was the last straw. I texted him once - to let him know everything he owned was now sitting at the curb beside the garbage bin. He could pick it up, or the garbagemen whoever got there first. I didn't really care, but neither him or anything he owned was welcome in my house anymore.
12. From GoodFill3435:
I had a friend who only wanted to talk when she had issues, and me being a good person would listen and offer advice (she never took it), she would never ask how I was or if I joined in talking about my problems she would put me on loudspeaker and go on FB. There's more to it but would take too long to explain.
She stopped speaking to me for months (did this when she started being friends with someone else) so I decided, enough was enough and stopped answering calls etc. 6 months went by and I got a note posted through my door saying she was 'worried' about me and had 'tried' to contact me!
She had called twice and texted me a few times. (I have severe depression and said she tried to check up on me...actually never asked how I was in those messages). Basically showed up at my house with her mother and had no choice but to speak to her since she was hammering on my door and window. I saw her a fair bit for about 2 months and then, suddenly, she just stopped calling and texting again.
I haven't seen her since February last year and I'm happier for it. I've cut out people in my life who have treated me like a doormat and been toxic. Never been happier!
13. From BlondBisxalMetalhead:
She outed me as bisexual to her parents, and tried to act like I was sooooo obsessed with her. She was never my type, and even if she was, I had a boyfriend at the time. When I called her out on it, she demonized me to our small friend group and I lost all of my friends except one, and I didn't have any classes with that other friend.
It gave me pretty bad trust issues, but things have been going really well, especially since I graduated high school a year later...has it already been 3 years since I graduated? It doesn't seem like that long. But yeah, I realized that high school isn't like the real world at all and did much, much better socially.
14. From PM-boobs-and-I-rate:
It was more of a friend group. I was always the one trying to make an effort to schedule things, responses were lukewarm. Plenty of day-of cancelations. I found out by total accident (one of them let it slip without thinking) that the group had a more active group chat without me in it.
That was my breaking point. I didn't bother actively calling anyone out about it because they didn't care to begin with. Just faded out from talking with them. Found a new group after that that has been way more welcoming, we see each other more frequently and I'm not the only one making an effort. The old group still reaches out, rarely, but I have moved on from them. Their loss.
15. From NorthProspect:
He was very emotionally unstable, would fly off the handle at the tiniest thing. Had a lot of undiagnosed mental disorders. He'd lose his s#$t if people didn't reply to his texts immediately, and he'd text all day long.
He was toying with the idea of buying a gun for some reason, definitely rooted in Deep insecurity. I told him if he did, I'd never see him again. He did, so I ghosted him and moved away shortly after. He texted/snapped/emailed me every day for over a year, with zero response, before I finally just blocked him.