'AITA for laughing at how my friend used her inheritance?'
"AITA for laughing at how my friend used her inheritance?"
I decided to post this with the help of my husband (who is unsure if my behavior was over the line). Here's what he thought was important for the sake of the story: My friend of about 17 years (Delilah, 37f) had a very problematic childhood. She barely went to school because her only parent was addicted to substances among many other problems.
I don't know how she slipped through the system for so long but she was pretty much a lost cause by high school because of how little discipline she had. At 23 her dad died and due to the matter of death, Delilah won a somewhat large sum of money. Once she got that money, Delilah chose to go to a community college.
I guess she learned to love learning and had so many interests she never knew about that she went to several schools in most of her 20s and came out with several degrees. So my view: I've held my tongue on her wasting so much money on school. I guess if it was my money I'd want to save it or explore then get a degree, not go head first. She has 6 degrees and to me, it's just silly.
The real kicker is my husband is an engineer and makes more than she does, despite all her side jobs and projects. Well, we were visiting her and she mentioned how she wanted to study history and maybe take a class or two online for the fun of it. I laughed and asked if any of her inheritance was still even left. She said that shouldn't be my concern.
I admitted it was ridiculous, she could have just bought a nice house with that money, instead of blowing it on degrees that she doesn't even use. She told me all her degrees served a purpose, she loves what she does now and loves learning because she was deprived of it as a child. She told me she wasn't going to defend herself to someone who did not grow up in a similar situation.
My husband told her to calm down. After is now awkward and I'm not sure if I need an apology or not. AITA?
People had a lot of thoughts.
Empress-Delila wrote:
YTA. You sound incredibly jealous. I wonder if all this hate and jealousy is stemming from the fact you didn't get to attend school after high school. You said your husband makes more money than her and not you so my question is are YOU making more money than her? It doesn't matter if she spends her money on drugs or spending it on nothing but shoes and electronics because guess what?
It's her money and she can do as she pleases with it. Also, she is a literal icon to me. I haven't been doing well in school much (better than her by how you explained it) so Delilah (Also my name but without the H) is giving me hope that I can still try and make it into school and my dream career.
ShesDaBomb wrote:
YTA. I don’t know why you feel entitled to have a say on how she spends her money- it’s her money. She could gamble on the stock market, or blow it all in one glorious day at Dave & Busters, and it’d still be none of your business. Why did you even bring up your husband's degree and income he makes? Why is that a kicker?
Just because you don’t see the value in her degrees doesn’t mean it’s not there. SHE finds value in it, therefore it has value. She’s not using her degrees to get a job because SHE’S PURSUING other degrees still. She has the financial ability to do so, and it’s absolutely none of your business.
Do you even like this person? Is this a jealousy thing that she’s pursuing multiple degrees and you’re stuck in a job you dislike? Either apologize and make your peace with the fact that you don’t get a say in anyone else’s financial situations, or leave this girl alone, because yours are not the actions of a friend.
jabronimax969 wrote:
I come from a long line of people who encountered large sums of money and ended up with nothing to show for it. The fact that your friend was grounded enough to use that money and obtain a fruitful education that fulfilled her emotionally is very commendable, and I would be proud if that were my friend or family member.
The fact that you decide to s#$t on it shows how small and jealous of a person you actually are. YTA!
goodmanzwife wrote:
I applaud her for using her money to do what makes her happy. I bet she sleeps good at night not caring what anyone thinks about her. We’re never too old to learn from others. She’s happy so be happy for her.
SnooRobots1438 wrote:
So you think it's funny that your friend who never had a decent education due to the fact her dad was a druggie. Kept her out of school, was murdered, she gets a settlement and spends it on education? Side-splitting hilarious. Are you disappointed she didn't spend it on drugs? YTA.