Mother complains about feces stained hand-me-downs, called 'ungrateful.' AITA?
Lending a helping hand doesn't usually come with its own fragrance.
One mother was grateful to receive secondhand clothes for her toddler from a friend but was shocked when she realized the state of the clothing. Now, she is wondering if she is being ungrateful or if this is simply nasty.
AITA for telling my coworker that the hand-me-downs she collected for my toddler were disgusting?
I'll try not to make this terribly long. My coworker contacted me to let me know that she had some hand-me-down clothes that my toddler was welcome to. She said they were in 'play' condition, well loved and some stains, but all were freshly laundered.
Now, I don't mind stains or worn clothes for my toddler at this point. She will either make it that way herself or burn through brand new clothes too fast, so we LOVE pre-loved for this stage.
I picked up the box and there were some really cute clothes that we are definitely going to use.
Folded in, however, was a pair of black pants. I held them up to take a look (as I did with each piece to make sure it's something I'd use) and noticed that it was wet.
I took a sniff and immediately smelled diarrhea/poop smell. Gagging, I turned it around and sure enough there was a rancid poo stain on the pants.
This really p*sses me off because..well.. I feel like that's totally unacceptable. I would never in a million years think of sending that to someone's house and I would make sure what I'm folding truly is clean.
Anyways, when I saw her next I said that I found a pair of pants with actual wet, seemingly fresh poo stains folded neatly into the pile. I told her this was disgusting and to please check clothing properly before handing them to someone. It's completely unhygienic and while I appreciate the clothing, it's really not okay.
She apologized to me profusely but then I heard through a different colleague that she was telling people I was an ungrateful a**hole because I 'complained about the clothes being too old when I should have expected it as they were hand-me-downs' and of course mentioned nothing about the sh*tted pants.
I said that her side of the story wasn't true and what had actually happened.
Anyway, I'm p*ssed off but I do understand it's embarrassing that it happened for her. I don't see how someone does this without knowing. Am I an a**hole for telling her it's not okay despite her being kind enough to pass down clothes?
Here was the verdict from Reddit readers:
NTA I used to volunteer in a charity shop and some of the items donated still haunt my dreams.
NTA. no one wants to receive sh*tty pants, gifted or not.
NTA, you weren't mad about the clothes being worn out, you were mad because they were covered in poop. I would think it would be common sense to make sure the clothes were clean before gifting them to you but apparently not.
This is 100% a woman who is embarrassed and is going on the offensive so she can attempt to block OP from telling the truth. I’ll give the coworker the benefit of the doubt that the poo pants were just sort of chucked in accidentally (even though I don’t really see how that’s possible). But then going around shit talking? Yeah, OP NTA but your coworker sure is.
I’m going to be in the minority here, but YTA. It appears that this was an oversight, as only one pair was dirty. It sounds like you got them for free. Why couldn’t you just rewash the clothes and leave it alone?
Maybe because I am a nurse so bodily fluids don’t phase me much, but you could have been a lot more tactful when mentioning it. And poop is easily washed, people here acting like it’s some radioactive material vs. something you wipe off your own butt daily.
People make mistakes. Mom’s deal with so much stress, hormonal changes and sleep deprivation. I have made stupid mistakes since having my babies that never would have happened prior.
The coworker is not nice for spreading rumors either but its crazy to me that people think someone would give away wet poop pants on purpose. They probably got sent home from daycare or the sitter and thrown in the wrong pile.
This! It's over the top to lecture the giver of the free clothes on hygiene. Could be her toddler smuggled them in, whatever.... She seemed truly embarrassed and maybe even saw it as you complaining about the clothes and all. You never know what people make off things.
I have a friend who left a bag of used clothing in my apartment as we went on vacation. Some time after the vacation I went to visit her and brought her the bag which was smelling strongly.... Turned out our cat hid a dead mouse in it🙈 it was so embarrassing for me, but we got a good laugh out of it and that was it😂 YTA