'AITA for not allowing my sister to make her kids' food at my house?'

"AITA for not allowing my sister to make her kids' food at my house?"

I come from a broken home so we have our Christmas with mom's side the first weekend of December. I (44 M) hosted, usually my sister and I switch off host duties.

My sister has 2 daughters who are incredibly picky eaters at 18 and 15 years old. My sister would come to family parties with a box of pasta and a bag of frozen chicken tenders that she will make for her daughters.

I want to know if I’m an a**hole for what I did here. I knew that is her drill with them, but I’ve always found it to be very annoying especially when I’m trying to cook and she’s taking up space making the pasta and chicken tenders.

This year I told my wife we will not be letting my sister in the kitchen and the girls will have the choice of eating what I prepared or not eating. My sister accused me of being a cynic and getting joy from watching the girls be uncomfortable. I told her they are old enough to eat like adults.

Also the food I make is pretty standard. I do a fillet roast, bbq ribs, cheesy potatoes, stuffed artichoke, breaded cauliflower, ratatouille, and a salad. Certainly some of these must be foods that an 18 and 15 year old should be able to eat.

Well the girls sat and ate bread and butter while telling me that my food looked gross. I looked to my sister to calm them down, but she told me I deserved this and it’s not their fault for being picky eaters.

I know I could have just let my sister do her thing but it was the principle of the situation. I’m not sure if I was being a petty a**hole or if I had a legitimate reason to be upset.

Edits:

There are no medical conditions or food allergies.

I made it clear to my sister in advance that I would not be allowing this. She decided not to listen.

I did not anticipate this blow up. I am willing to compromise. If the girls really won’t try new things my sister can make their food at home and bring it.

Here's what people had to say:

gcsxxvii writes:

Answer me this: would it have killed them to try anything? No. Maybe they’d love cheesy potatoes or ribs. But they’d rather be childish instead of trying something one time. It’s not ego: it’s incredibly rude to bring your own food to someone’s house if you don’t have an allergy or any medical conditions.

Suspicious-Cat1021 OP responded:

That was a point I’ve been trying to make to my sister about them trying new foods. What is the absolute worst that can happen? They don’t like it and spit it out?

eightmarshmallows writes:

NTA. I can see where some folks think your position is a criticism of her parenting, but I also think you would be doing her kids a disservice to not take the opportunity to help them find an appropriate way to navigate normal group dining situations.

WeOnceWereWorriers writes:

Go have some kids of your own if you want to show you're the best parent in the world

Suspicious-Cat1021 OP responded:

I do have kids. They’re pretty great.

gcsxxvii writes:

NTA. They won’t eat cheesy potatoes?? Or like, ribs or steak? Ffs. This is how we get adults who only eat plain pasta and chicken tenders.

Suspicious-Cat1021 OP responded:

Because we live in a society where not catering to them will be seen as “abuse” by many.

cinnamus_ writes:

Oh my god they sound like brats 😭 that is such deeply embarrassing behaviour, especially from an 18 year old.

DeeVa72 writes:

Just curious, does she coddle them in other aspects? Definitely NTA here, this is absolutely ridiculous. I would flat out say they eat what I cook or they stay home because they’re rude, ungrateful brats that have a mother just as bad for allowing (and encouraging) this behaviour.

Suspicious-Cat1021 OP responded:

Yes she does. They’re both brats. The 18 year old can’t handle being told she’s incorrect about anything.

Disdain690 writes:

You already know they won't eat it every year, so their mom came up with a solution. JFC you're in your 40's, yet you're acting like a petty child.

Suspicious-Cat1021 OP responded:

It’s time to grow up

tigeetailz writes:

Info: What principle are you defending? Why do you care what they eat?

Suspicious-Cat1021 OP responded:

I just think you should eat what the host prepares. I always tell my kids when they eat dinner at a friends house they have to smile and say they enjoyed it even if they didn’t.

mkejess writes:

Imagine....making a meal for GUESTS of yours that you know they won't like and then forcing them to eat it or go hungry. They are your guests too btw.