Mom asks if she's wrong to have strict 'Christmas rules' because it's also kids' bday.
"AITA for enforcing the 'rules' and asking all the in-laws to comply?"
My twins are going on 15 years old and were born on Christmas. So, I have a rule that all Christmas dinners must be at mine and my husband’s house to celebrate my kiddos.
Also, Christmas celebrating must only be done throughout the afternoon and during dinner but then the celebrating that’s done during dessert must be reserved for only birthday party-themed festivities and decorations.
Another rule is that nobody is allowed to bring “combo gifts” like a big gift for Christmas and birthday combined, nor may they give a gift to my kiddos that they have to share. Additionally, no birthday gift can be wrapped in Christmas paper and no Christmas gift may be wrapped in birthday paper.
And, same with greeting cards- no one-size-fits-all card or shared cards allowed. The last rule, and the one that is a sore spot for the family, is that there will be no pie at the table as I go all-out on birthday cakes for my kiddos. SIL and especially husband’s elderly aunt ALWAYS break the rules! AITA for enforcing the “rules” and asking all the in-laws to comply?
From the comments:
msdu5276769 writes:
Nothing says Christmas and birthday fun like strict, fascist tyranny. YTA. Lighten up a bit.
Agreeable-Celery811 writes:
“Happy birthday, Twins! This year, like every year, I got you the resentment of all your relations. Hope you like it!” —OP, probably
imothro writes:
I'm a Christmas baby and even I think this is over-the-top. Things like asking people to bring separate, appropriately wrapped gifts is completely reasonable. I always really appreciated when people acknowledged my birthday separate from Christmas.
But ultimately your goal should be to find a balance between the Christmas holiday and your children's birthdays, not hijack the holiday entirely to only celebrate their birthdays. That's not fair to the other people participating in the holiday.
kldc87 writes:
Going against the grain here. NTA. I don't think people appreciate how hard people have to enforce the Birthday/Christmas boundary unless they've had to live it themselves.
Edited to add, maybe have a conversation with your teenagers about which traditions they would still like to be upheld. Maybe they don't actually care about pie being there anyway. Then focus on the ones that do matter to them.
ResearcherEast4914 OP responded:
I can give on the pie thing. Lol
Miserable_Airport_66 writes:
I was exhausted just reading your rules, YTA. Not everything revolves around you and your kids. You could move their birthday party to before or after. Most kids have had their birthday moved due to celebrating on weekends.