SAHM asks if she's wrong to cancel Christmas over husband's 'ridiculous' budget.
In this post a woman asks if she's wrong for giving up on planning a holiday celebration because her husband didn't leave enough money to pull it off. Here's her story...
"AITA for not doing anything for christmas this year and making my husband livid?"
So I'm a stay at home mom with 3 kids. My husband works full time and gets an okay- salary BUT he's tightened the grip on spending for the past 4 months to be able to save up to go watch the football event overseas.
He's literally obsessed with anything to do with football. He said he rarely ever gets to do what he wants and so I didn't want to judge him since it's his money eventually.
We discussed plans for Christmas and he told me to handle everything since he won't be back til Dec. 20th. He told me he had put aside money for Christmas decoration, food, gifts, kids needs etc. The money in total was 100$.
I was completely shocked I told him 100$ for an entire family's Christmas celebration was ridiculously not enough. He shrugged saying it's all he's got but I pointed out how he's paying for his friend's and his girlfriend's travel expenses.
He told me to just 'take it' but I said that if he decided to leave me with just 100 bucks then I won't be doing anything for Christmas. We had lots of arguments and couldn't get this resolved.
He's in Qatar now (he left days ago). Yesterday, while I was cleaning I found an envelope with the same 100$ and a note from him telling me 'to make it work'. I sent him a message that I've decided that I won't be doing anything for Christmases with this little money, period.
He was livid he just kept sending an angry message after another calling me 'spoiled' and telling me to stop expecting to live like I was still living in my parents house and to stop trying to 'rob' the kids of enjoying the holidays like the other kids.
I haven't replied but he's livid saying I'm punishing him for going and trying to guilt him using his own money.
From the comments:
9smalltowngirl writes:
NTA you have 3 weeks to get a lawyer, move out and get a job. You and children are at the very bottom of his priority list. That is not going to change. Good luck
NoChristmas2022 OP responded:
I'm planning on going to stay with my parents. They live few towns away but I don't intend on coming back for Christmas.
Mama_Mush writes:
NTA- this sounds like financial abuse. Why is it 'his' money when you are in charge of household admin and childcare while he waltzes off with his friends to pay thousands to watch a bunch of overpaid eejuts kick a ball around?
No sane person from this century could pull of Christmas with 100 bucks unless they go in for petty theft on a grand scale. Ultimatum time, he treats you as an equal financially or you leave and get child support.
Happytallperson writes:
100 bucks is a decent Turkey right? (Legit question: I never buy turkey as if I'm cooking it's just me and my wife and we both dislike it).
There are definitely people who do do cheap Christmas, paper chains, reused decorations, limited food, focus on family time together. But I'm betting husband would throw a fit if that was the outcome.
Fangehulmesteren writes:
Wow What a total jerk. You’re not TA, but take that 100 and try to at least get the kids a little something with it so that he’s not totally ruined everyone’s Xmas. And seriously, thinking about leaving this guy behind. He obviously doesn’t care about you or the kids