Man drives coworker home, she doesn't know he knows Danish, insults him to BF.
'TIFU when I (24m) offered my coworker (18f) a ride home'
Last night I offered one of my coworkers a ride home after work. My coworker is an intern. An attractive intern, not gonna lie. However, I've never been tempted to cross that line because A) we work together and B) the age gap.
That being said, despite my professional and platonic relationship with my coworker, I still managed to end up in a temporary love triangle somehow. To pick up where I left off in my opening line, she accepted my offer to drop her off at her apartment when we were done working. On our way, she answered a phone call from her bf.
I had no idea what the bf was saying, but based on my coworker's unexpectedly candid responses, it became obvious that her bf was upset at her for posting a photo on social media of her drinking somewhere with random guys.
My coworker explained that the random guys actually worked with her and the photos were taken during our monthly office party. She apologized for not telling her bf about it before posting the pictures, but she refused to apologize for enjoying drinks with colleagues.
The conversation between my coworker and her bf became more and more heated, especially when she started using words like 'insecure', 'immature' and 'jealous' to respond to her bf. I was doing my best to not look like I was eavesdropping, even though it was impossible not to.
At some point during the argument, I low key had to use made up sign language to communicate to my coworker that I didn't know where I was going and that she was supposed to be navigating the way to her apartment.
She was listening to her bf talking at that moment, but she had no problem giving me verbal instructions at the same time.
The bf must have realized his gf was in the car with a 'person of interest' because my coworker's next response to him was 'nope, not in an Uber, one of the guys at work offered to drive me home.'
She listened and listened and listened while shaking her head and rolling eyes before opening her mouth and suddenly saying 'yes, he is one of the guys in the fucking photo, in fact, he's the tall guy on the far left with the cute dimples.'
It was literally the first compliment I've gotten from the opposite sex about my looks since my gf broke up with me a couple of years ago. I was so caught off guard with the 'cute dimples' line that I momentarily stopped focusing on the road and stared at my coworker with deer in headlights eyes. My coworker hung up on her bf and said I just missed the turn off.
What was supposed to be a 10 minute drive to my coworker's apartment turned into a 25 minute journey because of my lack of concentration.
The bf called again a few minutes later and my coworker had to explain to him why she was still on the road and not at home yet.
I didn't have to hear what my coworker's bf was saying to know that he did not like the fact that his gf was still with the cute dimples guy. My coworker eventually became so frustrated, she switched to Danish mid argument, her native language.
I think she assumed I wouldn't understand what she was saying, but I did. My best friend is Scandinavian, which kind of forced me to learn what he was talking about.
My coworker, now speaking Danish to her bf, apologized for upsetting him and said that he had no reason to feel threatened because she would never cheat on him with anyone, especially not with the guys at work.
So, there I was, still thrown by the cute dimples compliment, when I heard my coworker roast all the guys she worked with, including me. I guess she was doing it to convince her bf that he was better than us and kind of boost his ego in the process because she really made us sound bad.
She said I never blink my eyes and that I walk like I'm riding an invisible bicycle. On top of that, she said my voice was so husky it made her feel like she needed to clear her throat every time she heard me talk.
The tension between my coworker and her bf died down because she was laughing and talking dirty in Danish. When I finally made it to her apartment, I didn't even bother saying goodnight. All I did was smile and wave before leaving.
I wish I never offered to drive her home. That was an uncomfortable experience. Monday is gonna be awkward at the office for me.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Should have said bye to her in Danish.
The OP responded to this reader:
Every time I replay the situation in my head, it ends with me saying some cool mic drop moment sh*t, but sadly my brain is never quick enough to think of witty replies in real time, especially when I'm feeling uncomfortable. That being said, you're right, I should've greeted her in Danish.
There’s always Monday morning…greet her in Danish and offer her a danish.
You should bicycle-walk past her desk, pretend to ring the bike's bell, and greet her in Danish while using a super-deep voice. Not blinking is kinda creepy though. 😁
The OP again responded:
Lol I have no idea what my coworker is talking about though. I walked in front of the mirror this morning and there is nothing wrong with the way I walk. I even practiced walking like I was riding a bicycle and it looked ridiculous.
None of my exes would've dated me if I ever walked like that in public. And I do blink. I'm not Wednesday Adams. I bet her super confident bf is the one who never blinks and bicycle walks.
You understand Danish just from speaking to your Scandinavian friend?
Honestly, good job.
I'm a native Norwegian and I don't understand phonetic Danish at all.
How the f*ck do people even think this story is real is beyond me. Just check OP's post history. He is literally farming TIFU stories 3 or 4 times a day. Each time he changes his gender and age.
There are literally 4 or 5 posts from to day and yesterday where he is either a '19 yo female' or a '25 yo female' and the stories range from how he forgets his condom in Vegas as a female with his imaginary bf to, well, this most recent story where he is a guy with dimples and a bicycle walk.
Gotta farm that karma somehow.