Man criticizes daughter-in-law he's living with, gets called out for being 'misogynist.'

In general, unless someone is doing something actively harmful, or something that directly negatively affects you - it's easy enough to leave the criticisms unsaid. We all have differences in how we like to function on the daily, and most of them are petty and harmless enough to ignore.

However, some people simply can't keep their mouth shut to keep the peace. And it results in unnecessary tension and conflict.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for criticizing his daughter-in-law.

He wrote:

AITA for criticizing my daughter-in-law?

I (60m) am retired and living with my wife (62f) who recently retired as well due to health issues. I retired early when my youngest son (34m) completed his degree about 14 years ago. Our country currently has a housing crisis so my son and his wife rented when they started their marriage.

When my wife and I noticed that we were dipping into our emergency fund and our savings was getting depleted, we asked our son and his wife to move in since the house is going to them when we pass anyway. They both have stable jobs and my daughter-in-law has other side businesses that allow her to financially support her own parents as well.

We belong to a culture where it's customary to take care of your parents when they get old. They moved in and have been covering all expenses which helps us keep our savings intact. They pay for groceries, electricity, water, internet, our more expensive medications, and everything else around the house.

They also paid for our annual property taxes. They also help around the house when they aren't working. One thing I don't like is their style of living. They both work from home and they converted one of the spare rooms into an office and I hate how cluttered it can get when I walk past.

I told my son that my daughter-in-law should spend extra time straightening up both their desks after work to keep the room organized. At one point I walked past their bedroom while my son was walking out, so the door was ajar and I saw my daughter-in-law lounging on the bed, legs akimbo. I told my son it was unbecoming of a woman to behave like that.

My son said she isn't like that in the living room but feels comfortable to lounge a bit freely in the privacy of their bedroom. My son and daughter-in-law have been distant with me since, with my daughter-in-law barely speaking to me at all.=

My wife spoke to both of them to ask if they are okay and my daughter-in-law said she felt I was being misogynistic and that she didn't feel comfortable interacting with me anymore. She has also said to my wife that if she doesn't end up feeling better about this situation she will look into renting again and will move out and end the financial support to focus on their own living expenses.

This is something we cannot afford to happen as it has been easier with them taking over all expenses but I still think I'm right and they should take my feedback. AITA?

People didn't hold back.

Applescruff_J wrote:

Wait...so you're upset that your daughter-in-law was lying down in a relaxed position on her bed in her bedroom? Am I reading this right?

YTA. Obvs.

CrystalQueen3000 wrote:

If you caught her sitting on his face it would still be none of your business.

YTA.

Curious-One4595 wrote:

YTA. Dude you’re 60, not 90. Get a job if you’re running out of money. But yeah, you’re creepy and sexist and overbearing. No one wants your feedback. No one wants you peeking in their doors and judging them after they are helping you out so considerately.

You can have and express your crappy unwanted opinions and lose your financial support or you could try to be nice and have a good relationship with your son and his wife, who are your benefactors. Pick one.

DearOP_wrote:

YTA because they're paying for you & your wife so you don't have to & you think you can criticize your DIL for not being neat enough? It may be your culture to take care of the parents, but you're being ungrateful because they don't have to do everything they are for you to live how you currently are. Since they're paying for so much the least you & your wife can do is tidy up yourselves.

You have some audacity & it'd be well within their rights to walk away & leave you high & dry. Apologize & start being more grateful for what they're doing for you because they don't have to keep doing it culture or no. She can lounge in her room however she wants. They're paying for your lifestyle & they can stop at any moment like it or not.

Obviously, OP is TA, and if he wants to continue a relationship with his son and daughter-in-law he might want to reflect on his creepy ideas around gender.