Dad with cancer wants to leave 'problematic' kids with no inheritance, shocks family.
When this man learns he has cancer, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for spending my children's inheritance, leaving almost nothing to them and my grandchildren?'
Hello, good afternoon. What you are about to read, is a recent cause of emotional distress for me, regret, and I'm doing this post with the help of my colleague and his son, whom insist I'm doing the right thing.
I'm 63 years old. I took advantage of better times, financially speaking, and managed to get enough money to save, have a good retirement, and leave a good inheritance for my children. However, their actions in recent years has broken my heart.
My oldest daughter is a lawyer, married to an attorney. I have another son who is also a lawyer, a third who became an engineer, and the youngest, who is a salesman.
I have been a smoker for many years, and, the predictable outcome has finally caught me, so I may not have many years left. After knowing this, my children began stabbing each other's backs, trying to get their inheritance earlier.
Initially were frequent verbal discussions, that escalated to legal battles. The boiling point came when my daughter forged her brothers' signature to take their part of the inheritance while I was being treated at the hospital. Now, none of the siblings can see each other in the eye, and only talk through lawyers.
Saddened by this situation, decided to spend the money, thinking that if all of it is gone, they would have no more reasons to fight.
I donated to charities, bought my wife beauty items, went on vacations with her paying for the better looking hotel rooms (no planes because of covid travel restrictions), gave my grandkids expensive gifts, bought my dearests friends and colleagues better equipments to improve their work.
We bought a huge TV, prepaid for my funeral, tasted some fine whiskey, among other things.
Right now, about 65-70 percent of my saving are now gone. I plan to keep enough for the time I have left, and leave my wife a good cash amount.
However, my children are noticing that I'm spending a lot, and started to ask questions.
My daughter figured out what happened on her own. I had no rebuttals, since I'm guilty of all the accusations she made, but then she mentioned that her children will suffer because of my selfish acts, not only that, but I am cursing all of her grandchildren by doing this.
That made me think, that my grandchildren shouldn't be punished for their parents' sins, and maybe, I was too self-absorbed to realize it sooner. That's my dilemma now. AITA?
Let's find out.
dementedalpaca writes:
NTA. HARD NTA. What'd she accuse you of? Spending YOUR money? That you earned? On a life YOU wanted?
Inheritance is what you get when someone dies. It's NOT yours. You're not entitled to it. You don't get to dictate what happens until you actually inherit it.
You can, until the day you die, change up who gets what. You got one kid who's not being a dick? Leave it to them.
Or leave it to your grandkids in a trust their folks can't touch. You can roll it up and smoke it. It's YOURS.
You've done nothing wrong. Hell, just leave it all to your wife. That's how it should go anyway.
And I'm sorry you're at this point man. The big C sucks (assuming that what you meant).
Johnbrownenterprise writes:
Are you saying an attorney, lawyer, engineer and a salesman can’t provide for their children and have to rely on inheritance?
Tell them, it’s your money and ultimately you aren’t responsible for their grandkids’ future and they should be saving up for them. Tell your kids to jog off and do one.