Groom forbids bride's brother from playing pranks at wedding; her family isn't happy.
When this man is annoyed with his future BIL, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for banning my fiance's family tradition from our wedding?'
Me (29m) and my fiance (27f) are supposed to get married in a couple months. We've been together 3 years and we haven't had too many major conflicts and none we couldn't get past.
Her brother Ryan (31m) and I, however, don't get along. He's kind of a jackass. He's got the kind of personality of someone who never grew up after his freshman year in college and never takes anything seriously.
I recently found out that my fiance's family has a 'tradition' of organizing pranks on the bride and groom. Some of it is just stupid stuff that causes a temporary disruption (think pretending to lose the ring for 5 minutes or orchestrating a fake mix up with the cake).
Some of it is more elaborate. I heard that at my fiance's aunt's wedding, they somehow managed to keep it a secret that they'd put bubble wrap under the entire carpet leading to altar before the bride walked down it.
The pranks are supposed to be a bonding experience and a sort of induction for new family members. The examples I've heard about have been annoying and disruptive, but on the whole, mostly harmless.
Personally, though, I hate pranks. I feel that regardless of stated intentions, there's always a bit of maliciousness hidden in the act. And sometimes, even without meaning to, the pranksters go too far and genuinely hurt their targets.
Ryan is definitely the kind of person who would pull a prank that went too far and has already started making jokes about how much fun he's going to have at our wedding.
I talked to my fiance and told her that I don't want any pranks at our wedding. I don't want our day to be ruined by childish jokes or, what I'm more worried about, her brother pulling something more mean-spirited.
She said that this was her family's special tradition, that it was harmless fun meant to bring people together. Some of her favorite family memories came from this 'tradition.'
We argued. Eventually, things got heated and I yelled something along the lines of, 'There'll be no F'ing pranks at my wedding!' My fiance got quiet and then left.
I immediately knew that I'd made a mistake and tried to apologize, but all I got was silence. The next day her brother called to tell me that I was a jackass and to stop being such baby. They're just pranks.
I can't help but wonder if I'm overreacting. I know that this is a tradition my fiance values, but, again, I hate pranks. Even more, I hate the idea of having pranks being played against me. Our wedding is supposed to be a celebration of each other.
While setting it all up is stressful and while I understand that not everything will be perfect, there's a difference between dealing with an unexpected accident and actively incorporating something I loathe into the ceremony. AITA here?
Let's find out.
typicalgarlic78 writes:
Your fiancé’s values? It’s a prank and it sounds really annoying. Random family tradition. The day is about the two of you and if you don’t want to be pranked, then your feelings matter. NTA.
qpitass writes:
NTA. Congratulations 🎉. With this marriage you have a lifetime of dealing with a whole family of idiots. Your fiancée will allow this to happen. She has already sided with her family.
She will continue to do so throughout the marriage. You might want to rethink always being second to her family. If she would have understood your feelings instead of continuing to argue, there may have been some hope. A wedding is an important day for you both.
She is showing you your feelings about your (both of you) wedding doesn’t matter. Believe her. Pause and think if this is the life you want.