Pregnant woman calls her husband hateful when he won't let her get a pet spider.
When this woman feels sad about her desire for a spider, she asks Reddit:
'WIBTA if I got a pet spider even though my husband said he would kill it if I did?'
I have always loved animals, bugs, and plants. We have a dog and a cat which my husband and I take care of together. And I have a medium sized fish/shrimp tank and about 60 plants that I manage on my own.
I have alot on my plate right now (work full time, part time student, and 4mo. preg) but I have been wanting another pet for a looooong time.
I have always liked the idea of creating a vivarium and keeping some sort of insect in it (beetles/praying mantis, ect). I have seen many videos of jumping spider and fell in love with their cute faces and curious personalities.
I already have a large terrarium jar I could use and many plants and things to put into the enclosure. There are also many jumping spiders that live in my plants which I could capture.
My plan was to set up an enclosure, and capture a spider from outside. If It becomes too much to care for the spider I could always release it back into my plants, which live outside most of the year.
If it goes well I will probably still release it in March when I take my plants back outside after the winter months, because our baby is due in February.
If I end up liking the experience I would want to set up a more permanent habitat and purchase a captive bread jumping spider in the future.
The only problem is that my husband does not like spiders. As far as I know he isn't afraid of them, just doesn't like them.
I have let him kill black widows outside and in our shed, but have had to convince him not to kill large orb weavers or crab spiders in our yard as I know they catch bugs and mosquitoes.
I like to tease my husband and ask him if I can get a tarantula when we go to the pet store, he of course says no. I would be interested in a tarantula but I know that's alot to ask.
From my perspective a little jumping spider is a reasonable compromise, as he won't let me get other pets right now.
But he says that any spider inside the house he will kill. I tried to reason with him and ask him why a little contained spider would bother him so much, or if he is afraid of spiders and all he says that any spider in the house he will kill.
I think he is being ridiculous and hateful to spiders. Also being stubborn in his decision. I told him I still want a spider and have the means to put an enclosure together right now (I'm not, still researching). I put on spider care and habitat set up yt videos on our TV and he got really upset.
wibta if I still set up a spider habitat and got a spider from outside? I know he will be upset, but I cant imagine him killing a spider if its my pet, but if he does what should I do?'
Let's find out.
valuablead74 writes:
YTA -
First don't you dare capture a wild animal. Leave wildlife the F alone.
Second you 'work full time, part time student, and 4mo. preg' but this is what you should be using you time, effort, energy and money on? Get your priorities straight.
Third I'm going to assume this is your first child. How about you be patient and wait until after your child is born to know if you can even handle an additional pet or any additional work.
Fourth a pet should be a mutual decision with both people agreeing. If one person is so against it, it'd just be disrespectful to go ahead with it. Do you care more about having a spider than your husband's clear boundary?
otheresearcher disagrees:
NTA. It’s a spider….for the most part it’ll sit in its tank and require to be fed it’s diet. I rescued 10 rats after having a baby. They live in two big cages. I talk to them when i enter the room and they get free roam time.
Aside from that they barely take time away from my little one. My partner didn’t like rats at first. He didn’t wanna bring one home in the car before we were together. He is now just about as mad for them as me.