Woman's boyfriend disgusted by her 'unhygienic feminine routine.' AITA?
When this woman is distressed about her bf, she asks Reddit:
'AITA Boyfriend found my clean 'panties' and made me feel crappy about it?'
Hey all, my boyfriend is 27 and I'm 24. We've been together for almost two years.
My boyfriend is EXTREMELY hygienic in all ways. Like showers twice a day, washes his clothes after every single wear, don't leave a single dish in the sink dirty. If you ask me, he's a little over the top on how clean he and everything around the house needs to be 24/7.
He will scrub his body 3 separate times in one shower cycle just to make sure he doesn't miss any dirt. His showers are easily an hour most days if not more. I obviously have good basic hygiene skills, but I am much more relaxed.
For example, I will wear a t-shirt twice before washing it so long as it's not stained, covered in something, or stinky. Or I might leave a few dishes in the sink for a few hours after dinner before I get up and wash them. He would prefer I didn't and just kept everything to a T right away.
Yesterday night we were doing laundry. We always air-dry our clothes to save money and to reduce fading and shrinking. Usually I am the laundry person but on a one off he happened to be the one to take the clothes out of the washer and lay them out to dry.
He came across one of my pairs of panties that I specifically only wear during that time of the month.
I'm certain ladies will understand that we keep panties separate for periods than we do for when we aren't. Aka I have my ugly or maybe blood stained pairs for my period, and my cute and well kempt ones for when I'm not on my period.
Anyways, upon seeing these, he told me that I need to throw that pair away and that it's disgusting and unhygienic. He made quite a few comments about how gross they are, like diapers, despite them being CLEAN but just blood stained from a previous period/spotting situation.
I attempted to explain that i keep those pairs solely for when I am bleeding, and that it's a common thing girls do but quickly stopped because I could tell he just disagreed with me and told me that he's pretty sure other girls do not do this.
It made me feel really... I don't know gross? Ugly? Alienated? I'm not really sure but it definitely made me upset and feel some type of way about something I felt was natural I guess.
I snapped at him to forget my explanation because he's just making me feel like im gross. And a small argument insued because of this. We ended up going to bed kind of frustrsted with each other but i dont think im in the wrong. AITA?
Let's find out.
forwardsquirrel writes:
NTA - It is perfectly normal and hygienic. Also - consider for a moment that the two of you are hang drying all of your clothes to save money, but he takes an hour-long shower (and I assume a hot one) every single day.
If he cut that down to 15 minutes, the two of you could afford to run the dyer every once in awhile. Which might be nice for, you know, the person who is primarily responsible for doing the laundry.
rhuthbarb writes:
NTA.I think BF has a mental illness that is not being treated. Scrubbing his body 3x twice a day is not healthy—physically or mentally.
Keep in mind, if he stays like this you can never have kids with this guy. Kids are disgusting, barfing, puking, crapping stain machines. BTW: Many women wear their period stained underwear any time they’re clean. I hope he gets help.