Woman won't invite husband's widow friend to Xmas dinner; he says, 'you're cruel.'
"AITA firmly telling my husband that I won't agree to invite his friend's widow to our Christmas dinner?"
My husband's friend passed away months ago. Leaving behind his widow wife. My husband considered him a brother and so he began offering help to his widow and showing up literally every weekend (that's when he's off work) to help her with everything.
It didn't bother me...I mean not much but still. Now he told me that it'd be nice if we invite her to christmas dinner with us since she has no family and other friends are busy. I refused but he insisted saying it'd mean so much to her especially since this is her first christmas without her husband and we should comfort her.
I refused and said that it's supposed to be a family celebration and my family will show up so there's enough amount of guests already but he said she the one who needs this family atmosphere the most.
I snapped and firmly told him I will not agree to let him invite her to christmas dinner with us and he needed to drop it cause it made me uncomfortable.
He argued then started sulking about it saying that I was being cruel for no reason and that he wasn't asking for much. just an extra chair/plate for her. But I said it will be awkward for me and my family especially since we're not so close. AITA?
Let's find out.
activeberry writes:
I really don't think spending a few weekends with someone who just lost their husband is, like, an excessive thing.
My wife basically moved in with her best friend for a week after she got divorced, and I'm glad she did, because having friends and being there for them is good and normal and to be celebrated. And remember, husband is grieving too.
olderelderberry writes:
If I lost my husband, I'd probably be grateful for anyone who visited me and actually talked about him.
We're so collectively bad at dealing with grief, and what happens a lot is that people don't talk to you about the deceased person because it feels awkward and they're afraid of upsetting you more.
Or worse, they avoid you entirely because they don't know what to say. Meanwhile, the grieving person wants to talk about their loved one and not be alone all the time.
I lost a few friends recently and not having a lot of other people around who were close with them to talk about it with really feels awful; I can't imagine how much worse it would be in every single way to lose your spouse.
She probably just wants that connection with someone who also knew and cared about him. That's very human and normal. So yeah, YTA.