"I (M27) Just Found Out I Might be an Affair Partner of F34."

For my job I travel between 3 different states about every week or so. I will be at one job sight for a week then the next for a week and so on. Things changes as needed (Date of travel location and duration of the job). I don't have kids or in a serious relationship.

I met this woman G over a year ago. She was at a bar that some of my coworkers likes to go after shift. I went to get a round for the group and she was also getting a drink. We began talking I introduced myself and she her self. Ended up talking most of the night. But we left it at the bar.

We talked a few more times over the course of a month(also at said bar or local place). She said she was divorced and not looking for anything. That turned in to her just wanting nothing serious and something fun and casual. Due to the nature of my job with traveling and the unpredictability of my schedule I agreed.

We exchanged numbers and that was that. We usually would hook up about 4 to 8 times a month. Over the corse of the past year. Most of the time we would be at the hotel I was put up in. She said she lived far and I was closer/safer option.

I never questioned her because she was always available, spent the night/weekends, and was not glued to her phone. I really didn't have any reason to question her. It was fun and we had a good connection. That was until last night.

We were hanging out when I needed to get somethings from the store and she came with me. We were doing some shopping having a good time joaking, flirting, and laughing. As we were going down an aisle we heard someone yell "G is that you?" G's demeanor changed.(red flag #1 future RF=red flag)

It turns out that person was an old work friend of G's. They talked a little bit when this friend asked who I was. I politely introduced myself. When the lady asked how we knew each other G quickly said "he's an old friend from [town she grew ip in]" (RF #2). Then the lady asked G "What is David up to?"

Another awkward shift (RF #3) and G said something about he is doing fine busy woth work but she clearly did not want to talk about it (David is her (EX)husbad?) They finish the conversation soon after and I went back to shopping.

After we get out of the store I asked her what that was all about. She said it was nothing and wants to put It behind her (RF #4). She was distant the whole way back to the hotel.

I could tell her mind was on something miles (kilometers) away.(RF #5). I asked if she was okay and she said yes just fine. Then she cut the night short making a terrible excuse and left.(RF#6). She was originally supposed to see me off this morning.

Up to this point it didn't occur to me that she might have lied about being divorced. I tried to look her up on the book of face. I could not find her on it under the name I knew.(RF #6) There was a private account that might have been her but a different last name. I couldn't investigate further due to account setting.

I'm now on my way to a different job sight and won't be back for probably 15 days. She did not respond to my text asking if she was alright or what was going on. The situation is odd and feels off. Not sure what to do.

PS I do get tested regularly and have always been clean.

What do you think is going on here? Commenters weighed in to offer their theories and share advice:

Cupcake2die4 said:

If you're not down with being the "side piece", time to end things.

[deleted] said:

Its kinda nerdy but you can scearch the David (or whatever name her friend said at the market) + this different last name you've seen on her FB profile, someone whos had affairs tends to be secretive on social media, maybe her (ex?) Husband isnt.

HRPurrfrockington said:

Yeah, David is not her ex sooo ghost protocol with a courtesy shout out to David seems the ticket. IMO he should know she’s calling him an ex and acting like he is one, so he can go right ahead and make her one.

And SurpriseMo__erFu__er said:

ouch, been there. During my single/bachelor times i met a woman, said she was single and we had an FWB type thing for a month until i found out she had a husband and kids... Messaged the husband and told him and even offered to be a witness in divorce if he needed it. He thanked me and that was the end of my involvement.

A month and a half later, he shared this wild update:

Hello all, thanks for the few comments you did help me. As a recap I travel a lot between 3 facilities(in different states) for work on a somewhat regular basis. Over a year ago, I met G(Gina). We were basically FWB with hints of a bit more. Last time we were together, we were at a grocery store, and a former coworker called her out and asked how David was, and I had no idea who she was talking about.

Gina got weird and stopped talking to me while showing multiple red flags. I couldn't look her up for some reason on social media. Then basically ghosted me. I just traveled back there, and she was actually at our normal meeting place (bar). I was surprised to actually see her again.

I noticed she was talking to a guy. When she noticed me, she gave a smile for like half a second, and she got a worried look on her face. She came over to me and apologized again and wanted to talk.

Long conversation short, she is married. To David. She did lie about her last name and blocked me on social media. She said it was because she was surprised how she felt about me and didn't want to hurt me. She came clean about everything. Turns out she and David have been married for 10 years.

But Gina is what people call a "beard." She is straight, and her husband is 110% not. Their parents are both super religious and traditional. They live together but have separate lives and relationships. The marriage is basically a cover and only on paper.

David is actually a really cool guy and kept complimenting me and made the comment, "I see why you like him so much. I would have taken him home with me as well." I don't know how to take that. I'm not sure what the relationship is going to be like moving forward, but thanks for everything!

TLDR; I thought my FWB was cheating on her husband with me. She was, but not really. Their marriage is to cover her husband's sexual orientation.

ETA, the person she was talking to at the bar, was DAVID. The real David. After Gina and I talked, he came over, and we all talked for a few hours. He is a nice guy. Also, I do get tested regularly.

He gets tested regularly, okay everyone?????