"My (24M) GF (22F) hid and lied to me about meeting someone."

(TW: Self-harm)

To give a bit of context, my gf met a guy (let's call him T) on Tinder over 2 years ago and from what I know they really liked each other but for one reason or another they never end up seeing each other in real life, he continued to flirt with her until at least before I met her. We started dating about 7 months ago and we just moved in together (a bit rushed but was more because of financial reasons).

When she told me that she was still friends with T, I told her it was okay with me as long as it doesn't evolve into anything other than a friendship. We also had two deep conversations about him during our relationship, when I got jealous or insecure and I asked her for some reassurance. She would reply with something along the lines of "we're only friends, you should trust me, I don't see him that way anymore."

That was the end of it for both of us. Another useful information, my gf has multiple Twitter accounts, a main one where I follow her and some other private ones that she doesn't let me follow her at because "it's her secret place and need privacy". Fine by me, it has never bothered me if she wants some personal space.

During all of our relationship I found out some weird behavior, like she would put her phone away sometimes when I enter the room or turn around and face her in bed, or try to exit quickly whatever she was doing before. I tried talking about this with her and she attributed it to a self defense mechanism because of a toxic ex or gets extremely defensive and negate it.

Now I'm at the airport waiting for a plane to go visit my family for two weeks. These past days the topic was that she was going to be bored without me (she doesn't have a ton of real life friends, mostly internet ones because she has a lot of anxiety), so I told her to meet some people from work or some friend she has or even T.

The thing is, this morning I was using her laptop to get something done before taking my flight, when I entered Twitter by mistake, and in her feed was one tweet of last night of this private account she has saying "tomorrow is a really big day, I'm going to be seeing T, who would've guessed lmao."

Before coming to the airport I asked her if she had some plans for today after I leave and she said she would rest and clean the appartement. Now, I just finished a call with her where I literally asked her if she has already invited someone to go out so she won't be alone all the time and said no again.

I asked specifically about T and she said she didn't know if he was in town or visiting his family, where is clearly a lie if they organized to see each other today (I don't know if they actually did, but she was pretty away from her phone, told me she napped for 4 hours, and cleaned and took a long shower, which is normally what she would do).

I don't know what to even think about all this, I don't know why she would hide that information from me, I've never told her anything about not letting her do something, she's completely free and independent to do whatever she wants, so it's not like she would fear I'd say something.

I feel weird about all this, I feel a bit like that my trust has been betrayed?, And that I won't be able to get this out of my head during all my trip, I want to talk about this in person after I get back but I don't even know what I'll say to her. I also fear she won't believe it was a mistake how I found out and get angry for snooping?

What do you think is going on here? This is what top commenters had to say:

LoserBigly said:

Your “trust has been betrayed”?!? She arranged a secret meetup with a sketchy guy-friend… and lied to you… what more do you need to know? Geez dude, you need to throw this one out with the trash!

Aggravating-Deer1445 said:

A relationship is just hidden from your partner when you know you are beeing shady. When you know what your doing is wrong. She is having an affair. At least emotional and pretty soon physical. There is no other reason to hide

And LadyAshGray said:

She has lied, and will continue to lie. If you are cool with that, then stay. If not leave. You need to consider that she is not a good partner and is just hungry for attention and has no problem living a double life.

Three days after his original post, he shared this update:

Today after she got out of work she wasn't replying to my text for longer than usual, I started suspecting something was off. After a while I got a text of her saying she was going to miss me, and that she loved me.

She confessed cheating on me with him that day, and explained why she did it, she said she couldn't keep up with all the remorse and regret. She said that I deserved better and she was sorry. She also suffer from a lot of trauma and depression, so she told me she took a lot of medication and alcohol and that didn't want to be helped to survive.

Being in another country I couldn't call an ambulance, so I started calling her friends, family and people from work until someone picked up and called the police. They got to her before any harm was actually done and now she's at the hospital guard being take care off.

I'm not angry or anything, I'm just sad this had to end up like this. I'm crying and not enjoying too much my time with family and after coming back I'll need to start looking for a new place to stay. It will be hard to trust someone new again but I will be fine.