Woman asks if she's wrong to insist future MIL pay for wedding dress she 'trashed.'

Brides and their mothers-in-law aren't always known for getting along incredibly well. But for some reason, one such duo thought it would be a good idea for a bride to wear a dress her mother-in-law — who doesn't particularly like her — wore a few months prior. What could possibly go wrong?!

The bride in question took to Reddit to ask if she has the right to request her MIL pay for a new dress after ruining the one they'd planned to share — which was really just hers to begin with.

The bride states up front that her boyfriend's mom doesn't like her:

I (23) am going to be marrying my BF and the father of my child (20) I know we are young, but this is something we are going into with our eyes open. My BF's mom, we'll call her Ella (38), does not approve at all. I think she is kind of hypocritical because she obviously had my BF young, but she is very wealthy, so her experience is a bit different then ours.

The boyfriend's mom recently got married:

Anyway Ella got married a couple weeks ago, and we are planning a late July wedding. Ella was going to give me her dress when she was done with it, because she knows as a young couple we have to save money (she pays for my BF to finish school but rescinded the rest of her financial support when we chose to keep the baby)

Her boyfriend asked his mom if they could have the dress after her:

My BF did talk to Ella about how she treats me and how she is vocally against our relationship, and said if she continued to disrespect the relationship there would be consequences, and since she admitted she did not want the dress after the wedding, he asked that she give it to me. Note she isn't a sentimental persona at all and doesn't need money, so she was just going to donate it.

The bride was nervous that the dress would get damaged:

It's a really nice dress and I've been dieting because she is a bit smaller than me, but I thought with some minor alterations it would work. I was a little stressed at her wedding, because she kept walking on the very edge of the ocean, but I bit my tongue because it was her wedding day.

The mother-in-law returned from her honeymoon to hand over the dress:

Ella went on a two week honeymoon and then we saw her the week after she got back. She gave me the dress in a bag and when i took it out it felt weirdly stiff and it smelt. She giggled and said she jumped off of a dock when we left. I was hurt, because she is kind of a party girl and much more laid back than me, but she knew I was going to wear the dress.

She wasn't sympathetic:

I was expecting some wear from a beach wedding but it was gross, and then I noticed the back was a bit damaged from how it was taken off. She pretty much said too bad.

It seems the mother-in-law may have ruined the dress on purpose:

I later heard that when we left, Ella was talking to a couple people about how she hates me and doesn't want me to wear her dress. Her BFF said she should jump in, and she would jump with her. when confronted Ella just said it was her party and we know she likes to be spontaneous.

I asked her to pay to have the dress professionally cleaned and the top mended. She said she was not going to do that (I know she owes us nothing but to be clear she is very well off)

The bride now feels her mother-in-law 'owes' her:

I'm heartbroken and my BF is furious. He said she can't publicly disrespect our relationship like this, and they had a little fight. I feel like she owes me something because she knew I was dieting to fit into this dress and she did this on purpose. Hell this was a laid back wedding at a rental house.

She could have gone in and put on a bathing suit if she wanted, so since she did it out of spite, I think she should pay, but I am getting really mixed responses.

The people of Reddit actually think the mother-in-law doesn't owe her a new dress.

Driverfound39 says:

Whether she likes you or not, she doesn't owe you anything. She was doing what she wanted on her special day, and had no reason to temper her personality so that you could have a free dress later on. What she and her friends said makes no difference, and neither does her financial situation. You shouldn't be hanging so much on a possible donation.

TrashyPandaPig thinks the bride should pay for repairs if necessary:

Why should Ella have to act with caution to keep the dress as new on her wedding day. I assume that the cleaning and repair costs are still a lot less than the (or another) dress price and you should swallow it as you're getting more than your moneys worth anyway. Having said that Ella should have just said no if she didn't want you to wear it and not trashed it on purpose (if that's what happened).

Efficient_Living_826 thinks Ella was being petty:

In my opinion, it sounds like Ella is being petty and she definitely did it own purpose. She knew she was giving it to Op so the courteous thing would’ve been to clean it. With that being said, Op should clean it or just find a different dress(I would do the latter). You can find some really nice ones for cheap on Amazon, or you can up cycle one from the thrift store if you’re crafty like that

But caitiejbb thinks it was dumb to count on Ella in the first place:

You shouldn’t rely on favours from people who admit they don’t like you

SausageDogMama thinks the bride's being entitled:

To be sure I understand, this woman was giving you a dress that she purchased, without asking you for anything in return, just to be nice? And you feel since the dress was damaged by her, the owner of the dress, HER DRESS, that she somehow owes you...something? A dress? A dress cleaning?

YTA. Buy your own dress and get over yourself. This woman owes you nothing. You sound rather entitled and immature, and I’m glad it’s not my son who’s marrying you.

Deadlyhausfrau agrees:

You aren't entitled to her dress, she clearly didn't want to give it to you, and you would be behaving inappropriately by asking her to pay for repairs to her own dress.

Give the dress back to her. Let her know that you realize now how much she didn't want you to wear her dress, and you're sorry for badgering her into it. Say you will get your own dress (shop hard, my sister found a gorgeous one on extreme sale at David's for under $50) and that you can't wait to see her at the wedding.

They continue:

Don't be snarky. You're going to be family with this woman forever since you have kids with her son. Be contrite because she didn't owe you this, and your behavior is edging into the bridezilla arena.

The part where during her own wedding you were upset that she was taking pretty pictures by the water because she might damage a dress you felt entitled to should be a clue that you're in the wrong here. I bet she could see that, and it might be part of why she took a swim in the dress.

And snakeinsheepclothes really has her number:

You and your boyfriend are way too entitled.

You want to play adults and raise a baby but complain that she only pays for his school and won’t give you more money (you are adults)

Your boyfriends asks her for her wedding dress because you can’t afford one, she gives it to you even though she doesn’t like you. Then you complain about how she wore it and had fun with it.

Finally, they add:

You want to be adults so bad and think you are going in eyes open but all you talk about it how MIL has so much money and you don’t, like you deserve her money.

So there you go. No one owes you their wedding dress, no matter how rich they are!

Hope there's a good sale at David's Bridal for OP.