Woman demands man say grace; he maliciously complies making her furious.
Being religious is fine if that's what you want. Religion invites community, comfort, and moral guidance for those that practice for themselves. Unfortunately, some people use religion to feel better than others and try to impose their religious views on non-believers.
On a popular Reddit thread in the Malicious Compliance Subreddit, a man complies with a family member's demand to say grace.
He writes:
Some info for context. I have less than zero religiousness in my bones. I'm not saying god(s) don't exist. I just haven't seen credible, replicable, and verifiable evidence that proves his/her/its existence in the story.
My wife and I attended her sister's housewarming party earlier today. Her sister's mother-in-law, whom we are just meeting for the first time, is a devout, outspoken, and annoyingly preachy Christian. The father-in-law is chill.
The mother-in-law, let's call her Caryn, asks for all of the guests' attention and, for some incomprehensible reason, orders me (as in no polite request, no please, etc.) to 'pray for the food in which we are about to partake.' I guess me holding the fine cutlery while chopping up some Costco rotisserie chicken leader of men in prayer (WTF?).
My wife's sister interjects, 'Some of our guests don't share the same faith that we have. If it's alright with you, can we have a moment of silence so we can all offer thanks in our ways?'
Before she can finish, Caryn cuts her off and says, 'It is only right to offer thanks and praise for our lord and savior, blah blah blah.' Caryn promptly points to me with her index finger and sternly commands: 'LEAD THE PRAYER!' I say to myself silently, 'MC Jackpot!'
Then out loud, I say: 'Praise be to Allah, for he has given us all this delicious food to consume and enjoy. Except for the dishes with pork and all the alcoholic beverages, Allah doesn't allow their consumption.'
At this point in my 'prayer,' Caryn turns around, grabs her husband by the arm, and leaves the shindig, mumbling about us being heretics. Everyone was giggling at her theatrics. The drinks and food tasted way better after they left.
The internet has many gods.
JanuarySoCold says:
'I offer a prayer to the God of Costco for this delicious low cost rotisserie chicken. It is indeed one of his miracles.'
virgilreality says:
'R'Amen!'
No-Individual2998 says:
I once started a large family Thanksgiving with 'Lord of flies, father of goats, hear our plea.' I was excused and my Uncle Rick took over. And on a positive note, I've not been asked again.
No_Condition_1623 says:
So. A long time ago, I was working in another country with some friends. I was asked to bless the food. Cue MC; in my language, which the priest didn't speak, I start, 'dear lord of the Rings, please let Frodo destroy the one ring and grant him safe passage to Mount Doom, blablabla.' My friends were struggling not to let any laughter burst out. The priest thanked me afterward.
OP, have you heard of the gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?