'AITA for publicly shaming my wife for how she spoke about my son's mom?'

"AITA for publicly shaming my wife for how she spoke about my son's mom?"

Last night my wife, my 13-year-old-son, and I had dinner with another couple I’ve known since high school and their two kids at their house. After dinner, my son and the other boy left the table to play video games but still in earshot.

The rest of us stayed at the table chatting, the conversation turned to tattoos and my friend mentioned my ex/baby mama's brother who has some seriously impressive tattoos. My wife made a comment about how their whole family is covered in tattoos and that my son would be covered in a few years.

I responded that I wouldn't mind as long as they weren't sh**$y tattoos and she replied about him becoming unemployed trailer park trash like his mom’s family. I became mad that she spoke about my son like that and how she characterized my ex's family. My initial response was 'I can't believe you just said that.'

I followed this up by essentially telling her she had no right to talk about my son’s family like that and pass judgment on people she doesn't know. I also told her I don't agree with her sentiment that tattoos equal unemployment and that also the majority of my ex's family are happily employed and several of them are business owners.

The brother with the nice tats for example was a semi-professional boxer, has a master’s degree, and owns his own business. My ex's family has a bad reputation and a lot of them do live in a trailer park and several of her brothers and uncles have been in and out of prison. However, she has a large family and the majority of them are great people, but they are all heavily judged in our local community.

They were also such an important part of my life when I was younger, my ex and I had our son senior year of high school, my family was unsupportive but hers were our village, and we couldn't have done it without them. My ex's grandpa gave me my first job, her brother helped me find a cheap car to buy and helped me fix it up.

They were my family for years, and although I'm no longer close with them, they are still important to my son, and I see their positive influence in him all the time. My wife doesn't know them but I know she's heard positive things from my son so I don't understand why she would say what she did.

The night moved on but things with my wife remained awkward even after we left. When we were getting ready for bed, she told me I was an a**#ole for speaking to her like that in front of our friends and for defending my ex and making her look like a jerk in front of everybody. I was aghast and told her she was the one that spoke diminishingly about my son and his family while he could hear her.

I slept in a different room and didn't speak to her for the rest of the night. However, today I went to the gym with my brother, and he thought I was an a*# for blowing up at her in public and that I should have waited to mention what she said at home. He also thinks I'm coming of as an a#* for defending my ex's family to my wife and that it sends the 'wrong message.' AITA?

People rushed to the comment section to share their assessments of the scene.

Fatigue-Error wrote:

NTA. Your brother was wrong, you sent the right message. Assuming your son overheard, he heard you call his stepmom out. He heard the love and respect you have for him and the rest of family, his mom, uncles and grandparents. If you didn't do that, he'd have gone to sleep thinking you agree with his stepmom, that he'll end up unemployed in a trailer park.

You're a good dad. Your wife though clearly not only disrespects your ex and her family, she clearly also disrespects your son. Talk to him directly. Ask him about your wife, and listen.

Stole_My_Conspiracy wrote:

NTA. Let someone tell me that my 13-year-old is going to become unemployed trailer trash. I’m going to have something to say too.

Fun-Childhood-4749 wrote:

NTA. I would also try to talk to my son and see if your wife ever made bad comments about his family when you're not around. Since she seems so comfortable to say that when he could possibly hear her.

PravinI123 wrote:

NTA…who the hell is she say that about your son in public. Good on you for sticking up for your son regardless of if he heard or not. Who says that a child will become unemployed trailer trash? She said this in conversation and you responded appropriately in my opinion. She looked like a jerk in front of the friends because she acted like one and spouted nonsense.

You stood up for your kid and his mom's family. I shudder to think what she might say if you weren’t around. Please ask your son if she talks about his mom and her family to him.