'Perfectly logical' man wakes up 'emotional' wife on roadtrip bc he was 'bored.' AITA?
Road trips can be amazing or hell, depending entirely on your personality.
When a couple couldn't find a compromise, a huge fight ensued that threatens to ruin their entire trip. So, naturally, the husband came to Reddit for advice.
'AITA (Am I the A-hole) for wanting my wife to stay up during a road trip and talk to me?'
LipstickRibsteak writes:
I'm genuinely at a loss of words, I don't think I'm in the wrong but at the same time, she looks really pissed at me. My wife, me, and our 2 year old are on our first family road trip to California.
We rotate driving in shifts, but the problem is that when I was driving, my shift fell during the night, and so I was feeling really lonely and bored as I was driving. I'm not someone who can be left to his own thoughts very well, and I need people around me, I thrive on energy and excitement.
My wife is a bit of the opposite. She's generally fine with being left alone and can sit quietly for hours and hours upon end.
Recipe for disaster.
The problem is that around 11:00 p.m., I was driving and my wife and our son were in the backseat. I was feeling isolated, so I shook her awake, but then our son woke up, and well, you can probably guess what happens next.
Once he quieted down, my wife began to quietly blow up at me, about how much of a d*ck I was being. I told her that it wasn't fair for her to just sleep like that, and it made me feel like a driver.
She then said that she doesn't force me to stay awake or engange with her, but I told her that that's a cheap blow because we're not the same people, and I kept my mouth shut while she was driving because I know she doesn't like distractions even though it bothered me terribly, so the least she could do is to stop being selfish and help keep me sane.
And then it got worse.
Despite my perfectly logical answer, she apparently got emotional, and then started whisper screaming some sh*t about how raising one toddler is hard enough, and that she didn't know there was another one in the car who needed his whims catered to at every moment.
At that point, since she got rude, I decided to disengange. Now our whole trip is falling apart and she's making me out to be the bad guy.
What do you think?
Here's what Reddit had to say...
Grand_Championship17 says:
OMFG. You would be kicked out of the car and left alongside the road. I am pissed for your wife. Why are you acting like a toddler? YTA (You're the a-hole).
Alia_Explores99 asks:
Is there nothing but an empty expanse of tumbleweeds rolling through your skull? Even if that is the case, it is not others' responsibility to fill whatever void your brain is by draining themselves of their own energy. Learn to self soothe. It's a skill most infants master. YTA
fimbleinastar comments:
'Despite my perfectly logical answer, apparently my wife got emotional' = divorce incoming. He could have written this sentence without any other back story and it would still be YTA
dflower3 suggests:
YTA. Play a podcast or music like everyone else and let your tired wife sleep!
OP responds:
Those aren't enough, I tried that, but I just couldn't take the feeling of aloneness, I just need a human to talk to.
Gladtobealive2020 writes:
YTA for several reasons. Hate to break this to you, but your wife isnt just an accessory to your life, she is a living breathing being with her own needs and wants. You talk a lot about what you need, what about what your wife needs.
You basically are so self-centered that you want your wife to stay away while she drives and during your driving shift. And take care of the baby while you are driving. You also are so selfish and self-centered that you didn't care that waking up your wife would disturb and awaken your son. You prob were happy the baby woke up since it brought some 'excitement and energy' into the moment.
You said 'Despite my perfectly logical answer, she apparently got emotional.' So then when she calls you out on your utter BS, then you pull the women are reacting 'emotionally' as opposed to your BS. Your wife is correct in her assessment of your ' toddlerhood'.
If you dont change and step down off your high horse and start treating your wife and child with respect, and not always putting yourself first, your next drive probably be to a divorce attorney.
velkana adds:
YTA. The whole point of taking turns is to let whoever isn't driving have a chance to relax and rest their eyes so they can be awake and alert for their next turn. If you truly need another person to help you do that then you should have planned around that need: i.e. you do all of the driving, but you limit it to 8 hours at a time during the day, you both stay awake, and you rest in hotels/motels.