Husband fed up with criticism, tells pregnant wife 'do it yourself.' AITA?
Communication is important.
At a certain point, no one has the patience to take endless criticism when they're just trying to help. But how do you handle that breakfdown in communication? Especially when one partner is pregnant and justifiably exhausted? Here's how it's going for one couple.
'AITA for telling my pregnant wife to do it herself?'
My wife is 8 months pregnant and driving me insane. Before she was pregnant we didn’t have many issues but now, anything I do isn’t good enough. My cooking is s***, I don’t do laundry correctly, I don’t clean well enough/miss too many spots.
The last straw was my wife saying my foot massage wasn’t good enough. Since she told me that (9 days ago) I have been responding with ‘do it yourself’, after she tells me it isn’t good enough.
Yesterday the tire from our car needed to be replaced while we were at the side of the road. I admit it, I suck at changing tires. My wife told me I was going too slow, and I told her she could do it herself. She said no, and I refused to work on the tire again for 30 minutes.
When we got home she was angry because she needed to go to toilet during those 30 minutes. She called me an asshole and inconsiderate and a bunch of other stuff. I just went to our bedroom to relax for a bit.
In defence of my wife, the pregnancy is difficult on her and she had quite a few problems.
When we went to sleep, she wasn’t talking to me, saying that I am an a**hole. I am kinda feeling bad now, AITA?
Here's what the top comments had to say.
You're both a**holes.
She's incredibly tired, like nothing you can probably imagine - she's going to be affected heavily by this tiredness and there's not much you can do about it but try to be understanding.
She's acting like an asshole though. It wouldn't be hard for her to recognise that she's behaving poorly and at least talk to you about it at the end of each day to try and smooth things over.
You guys sound like you're in for a hell of a shit time with a newborn if you can't work this out.
Good luck
Yeah, I see posts like this and find myself wondering why neither person seems able to actually, y'know, talk to the other person about what's going on and how they're making each other feel.
Honestly, she's being nasty and demeaning based on the post above, but 'Do it yourself' is such a childish response instead of trying to have an adult discussion about what's going on. ESH.
ESH - These are the posts that make me appreciate being single.
EHS. She's exhausted from growing a baby and should be communicating better. You kept her waiting an extra 30 minutes on the side of the road because you were being a jerk. And seriously dude this isn't your wife. If you want a wife then you get married.
ESH. Y'all need counseling because life ain't gonna get easier when the baby comes. She's criticizing harshly and you're responding immaturely. This does not bode well for your future.
ESH. You both need to grow up and work out your petty issues before your kid gets here.
Off of the Reddit and on to the counseling.