'AITA for telling my in-laws that my husband wouldn’t help me reorganize my library?'
"AITA for telling my in-laws that my husband wouldn’t help me reorganize my library?"
Since I got pregnant I’ve had an almost obsessive urge to reorganise everything in my home. My library is one of the places I felt needed to be changed asap so I asked my husband multiple times if he would help me as my shelves are pretty high up and I have a lot of books that are heavy to move.
He kept telling me he would help me later as he was busy. It felt like later was never coming so I finally decided to just do it myself while my husband was working.
My in-laws came to visit us and they walked in on me grabbing books from the higher shelves. They thought what I was doing was dangerous and that I could’ve fallen. My husband also freaked out and kept telling me to get down and saying I shouldn’t be carrying heavy things.
My father-in-law asked me why I hadn’t asked somebody else to move my books for me and I told him I did ask my husband but he wouldn’t help me. He did try to correct them that he said he would help me later but his parents told him off for not doing it for me.
He thinks I made him look bad to his parents and is upset that I didn’t correct them and because I didn’t wait for him to reorganise my library. We keep arguing because I told him that he didn’t help and that I didn’t want his help anymore and I would finish the library myself. AITA?
Here's what people had to say:
redeyemaster asks:
Info: was your husband actually consistently busy and how long did you wait before you just did it yourself?
broken_novels_ OP responded:
He was busy but I feel like he could've made time to help if he really wanted to. I waited almost 2 weeks.
idreaminwords says:
YTA. From your comments, it sounds like you admit your husband was in fact busy, and just feel like he should have reprioritized to help you with the library, but it wasn't actually urgent. It was only urgent to YOU. If you were tired of waiting and wanted to do it yourself, that's fine, but going around and telling his parents its because he refused to help you was an AH move.
Despite what the general populace seems to think, pregnant women are not invalids and if you paced yourself and were careful, you were likely completely fine doing the work yourself.
Are you suggesting over the course of two weeks, he couldn't have found an hour or two here or there to help? Unlikely. Timeline matters. He said he'd do it. After two weeks, I would stop believing the help was coming.
She was totally fine doing the work herself. It was everyone else who was freaking out. She just explained why she was doing it alone. He looked bad because he made himself look bad.
broken_novels_ OP responded:
I know I could do it myself. The only reason I asked him is because I knew that he (and everybody else) would be upset if I did it myself. He was busy, but not so busy that he couldn’t have helped me for an hour.
Ryoko_Kusanagi69 says:
So 2 weeks with him working means only like 3-4 days of him possibly having a free day, where you already had lists of chores for him to do. You barely gave him 4 days to “get to it” before rushing to just do it your self. Then made him look bad to his parents. YTA this time
broken_novels_ OP responded:
I don't have lists of chores for my husband to do. The library is the only thing I asked him to help me with.
fzooey78 says:
Are you suggesting over the course of two weeks, he couldn't have found an hour or two here or there to help? Unlikely
kimmieluvu says:
Lol, you clearly have not lived with a husband who puts his list of To-Dos around the house at the lowest priority. She is nesting and she is getting the house ready for the baby. Her husband failed to help her for two freaking weeks, and is embarrassed that she told him off? Lol! He should be embarrassed! NTA.
She's pregnant, which means she's nesting. The urge to nest becomes almost uncontrollable. I don't think she's an asshole and I don't think she intended to embarrass him in front of his parents. But I also don't think is such a big deal that it needed to be posted online. NTA