Wife says it's 'below husband's status' to have his birthday dinner at Golden Corral.
'AITA for telling my husband that having his birthday dinner at Golden Corral is not appropriate for a father and man with his career?'
I don’t know how to start this because I’ve never posted on an advice sub before. To me this is common sense but I’ve received so much backlash from my family that I’m asking here.
My husband grew up lower middle class to poor and the biggest event to the year was they would save up and go to the buffet restaurant Golden Corral to celebrate birthdays. In a really good year they would go twice, one for the summer birthdays, one for for the winter.
I would go when we were first married and to be polite I will say a cheap processed food buffet not my cup of tea. Luckily we moved to a place with no Golden Corral so I was able to side step the issue for the past several years.
We moved this year for my husband’s promotion and now have a Golden Corral in town. He wants to eat there for his birthday dinner this Friday. We have kids and he’s now a sales manager, I feel very strongly that for a man in his position Golden Corral is not an appropriate choice.
I don’t want to set the example to my kids that we have to shovel as much food in as we can since it’s a “special occasion.” I shudder to think what his employer would think.
I was telling my mom thinking she would side with me, and she was actually furious with me saying that she thought she raised me better than this. Her comments are why I’m asking here. AITA?
From the comments:
CarlBassett says:
YTA. When you are successful you can do what you want. There is a photo of Bill Gates standing in line at a burger truck, and he's one of the richest men in the world!
Zmalpqow OP responded:
I feel I’m very successful in my own right.
MaybeIwasanasshole says:
Really? So why does your husbands salary need to be protected at all cost then? Why can't your salary be enough?Either your lying or appearances is very very important to you.
Zmalpqow OP responded:
He makes almost $275k a year with this job. I can’t earn that much in my field where we live.
YTA. You're being a huge snob and teaching your children to look down on people based on financial status. It's your husband's birthday, it's reasonable he gets to pick the venue and chooses something that he enjoys and feels comfortable in.
Also, it would be extremely weird and a massive overstepping of boundaries if your husband's employer was taking an interest , judging him for where he eats on his own time.
Zmalpqow OP responded:
He works in medical device sales, I promise they would care. Of course they wouldn’t or couldn’t fire him but his image is a huge deal.
Lazyoat says:
My mother’s family had a similar feeling about Shoney’s. They thought it was so fabulous. Neither of my parents were particularly fond of it, but when my Grandparents were in town, they’d smile and take us all to Shoney's even though there were better restaurants around.
It made my Grandparents so happy that it was such fun for us. There is nothing wrong with doing something just to make someone happy. and why would his boss care if he goes to Golden Corral?
Zmalpqow OP responded:
My husband works in medical device sales, it’s an incredibly status driven field.
Grognac_the_Red asked:
I came to first ask- do you not ever just enjoy crap food? A big, greasy, sloppy burger, a over-the-top milkshake, a donut dripping with glaze and cream? It's HIS birthday, not yours, so just don't go.
And they I saw what a rude, entitled elitist you are and I've decided that you need to apologize and take yourself somewhere else entirely. YTA
Zmalpqow OP says:
Since you are asking, no not really.