'AITA for telling my wife that she can stay home this Thanksgiving?' UPDATED
"AITA for telling my wife that she can stay home this Thanksgiving?"
My wife is a grade A+ picky eater. It's bothersome to a certain degree, but during holidays basically the sh*tshow begins. She's refused to eat certain meals and mom would take it personally...which results in a series of arguments between them.
As a compromise this year, my wife offered to bring her own food to Thanksgiving dinner. I was stunned. I asked if she thought this through, and she looked at me confused. I told her about how weird it'd be for her to bring her own food especially when she wouldn't be sharing it with anybody else, and told her to think about how mom will react.
She got very offended and upset. My wife said that it's not her problem, and that she was just trying to make it work by bringing her own meal. I told her again that mom might not like nor even allow this. She blew up at me asking if I want her to either eat food she doesn't like or go hungry.
I suggested she give my mom's food a chance, but she said it wasn't about my mom's cooking, she just doesn't like certain foods. We had an argument and I ended up telling her she could stay home this Thanksgiving and have whatever meal she likes.
She got quiet and then lashed out at me, calling me insensitive, and negative for saying this to her. I repeatedly asked her to calm down, but she couldn't stop ranting about how I was basically willing to exclude her from a major event.
She started cold shouldering me about it while at the same time guilting me saying I'm treating her poorly after she offered the 'perfect compromise'.
Here's what people had to say:
castzpg says:
YTA. She offered compromise. My wife's family does the feast of the 7 fishes. I hate fish. So since I joined the family it's the feast of the 7 fishes and a chicken. We all get a good laugh and my MIL is happy to make it for me.
UsernameTaken93456 says:
YTA for not standing up for your wife.
sodefeted says:
Definitely YTA why is your mommy’s feelings more important than having your wife with you at thanksgiving? Your wife offered a completely acceptable solution and you picked a fight with her and the kept telling her to “calm down” (because that always works when you act like a jack a**)
an0nym0uswr1ter says:
YTA. Do you even like your wife? This whole post is about how your mommy will be offended. Stop being a mamma's boy and stick up for your wife. She offered a compromise and you shut it down because of mommy.
YTA for not standing up for your wife. She's trying very hard to make holidays work with your family, but you only care about your Mommy's feelings. If your mother is so thin skinned that she can't handle the idea that people have different dietary needs, she doesn't get to host parties.
Edit: your update makes you absolutely the a%^$#le. Hundreds of people are telling you that you need to support your wife and when you don't, you get angry that she's going to head to her family who does support her. Man, you are a terrible husband.
Heck, I would be grateful that I don't have to figure out more stuff to add and cook and worry if it would be to their liking. It's supposed to be a family gathering, not eat whatever I cook gathering.
Later OP came back with this update:
And so, my wife has decided to go spend Thankgiving with her family (who by the way live HOURS away, so this means unnecesary travel expenses) instead and basically ditch me for a whole week. Y'all happy now? Though I appreciate some insightful comments on the situation.
Some others?.....not so much especially with those assumptions claiming that my wife has allergies, SHE DOES NOT! Y'all get that from? But anyway. S'all good now I guess though I'm not too thrilled with her decision. I feel like she's doing it to spite me or get me to cave in.