Man wins settlement, gives chunk to parents, wife upset he's not sharing with in-laws.
Nothing brings out marital tension quite like a disagreement about money. Which is why sometimes it's helpful to get the outside opinions of internet strangers.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he's wrong for refusing to give as much money to his in-laws as his parents. He wrote:
"AITA for refusing to give half the money I will give my parents to my ILs?"
Two years ago, I suffered an accident at work and recently reached an agreement with the company, it was a huge amount. For example purposes and to make it clear that these are not the real values. I received 100k, I decided to divide it as follows: 30K for me, 30K for my wife, 25K for emergencies and 15k for my parents.
I am the main breadwinner at home and my wife and I split the bills 25/75 (I don't know if this is important). Well, my wife wants me to divide the money I'm going to give to my parents in half and share it with my ILs, because it's money that would help them too. I refused, saying that this is money that is up to me to decide how to use it and that if she wants to help her parents, she is free to use hers as she wants.
To be clear, her parents are financially stable and my parents have absurd expenses because my father has several health problems and basically this money would cover a year or two of his medicines, they are struggling financially even with my help monthly. She said that this money should be a joint decision and that I was being selfish in deciding its destination without listening to her. Reddit, AITA?
Extra: She and I are financially stable, childless and this money is not needed to pay our expenses, so it will be used for other things.
The internet had plenty of thoughts.
co_carolelaine wrote:
NTA but as a former insurance adjuster, I would assume that if you're not committing insurance fraud, but getting a large settlement, that you actually have some kind of substantial injuries which might require some kind of follow-up care in the future - even if it doesn't seem like it now.
In most cases, this is a final settlement - you're not getting more regardless of what might develop in the future. My vote? Don't give any of it away. Do the smart thing and put it in a savings / investment account.
Emotional-Ebb8321 wrote:
YTA to yourself. That is blood money, not fun money. It's money to make up for your lost earning potential and any potential hospital bills as a result of that accident. I hope for your sake you have thought about your long term financial position, including your new extra costs and loss of earning potential.
azn_c0ugar wrote:
NTA - she has 30k for essentially no reason. She didn't suffer any accident so she can use that 30k to help out her parents. Why is that your problem?
Willowgirl78 wrote:
You were hurt at work. Has it affected your ability to work? Will it in the future? What are you going to do if you are forced into early retirement and you’ve spent all the money? I know multiple people who blew a settlement and now live in poverty as a result. You have to think long term.
Tdluxon wrote:
NTA. I think it is fair for you to make the call on how to distribute the money. The flip side is that as a married couple, one view is that the money is equally both of yours and she should have equal say so it's arguable though. I think the fact that her parents are financially stable and your parents are struggling with medical expenses should be a big factor in deciding.
OP is NTA here, but it sounds like his generosity is backfiring.