Pregnant wife kicks out husband for demanding paternity test; he says 'my mistake.'
'AITA for sending back the gifts my husband and his family are sending for our baby?'
I’m currently separated from my husband because he asked me if our son was his when I told him about my pregnancy. My entire pregnancy has been awful so far because of him and his family. Them sending gifts for my baby now just make me angry so I’ve been refusing to accept them and I’ve sent them all back.
My husband came over a few days ago to give me things for the baby in person. I told him to leave and to take his things with him, but he refused and told me I needed to stop sending the things he and his family send me for the baby back as the baby was his too and I was punishing his family and our baby for his mistake.
We had a really ugly fight over it because I said I would burn everything if he didn’t take it with him and I tried to kick him out. AITA?
INFO from OP:
When I found out I was pregnant he was travelling a lot so we were barely seeing each other and when we did sleep together, we were always using protection. He claims he couldn't be the father because of that and because I was supposedly spending a lot of alone time with a male childhood friend of mine when he wasn't here.
We did a [paternity] test.
The fight happened a few days ago. I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant.
SobrietyIsRelative asks:
And did he express discomfort with said alone time? Frankly, I’d be suspicious as well. This over the top reaction screams of gaslighting.
strawberry055 OP replies:
He didn't mention it or having an issue with it until I told him I was pregnant.
Here's what people had to say:
DutyValuable writes:
The minute he has access to the baby he’s going to be bringing it to his family. So you need to figure out if you’re staying with him; otherwise hire a family lawyer.
strawberry055 OP responded:
If he wants to stay married he won’t.
DM_Paper_Co_Inc asks:
INFO: how has his family made it awful? Did they immediately assume it wasn’t your husbands as well?
strawberry055 OP responded:
They were harassing me and calling me all sorts of names for humiliating their family constantly in the beginning, as well as threatening to leave me penniless. Most of his family immediately sided with him and his dad and uncle have been actively trying to convince him the baby isn't his.
Threevestimesacharm writes:
I was in the situation a couple months ago. Happily married for 20 years. Never cheated and no reason to suspect my wife has. Got a vasectomy five years ago and had two tests telling me I am sterile. Then she calls me and says she’s pregnant.
Goes to the doctor, and they set the due date and working backwards leads to a approximate conception date during the week I was traveling on business.
I will tell you first hand… You can’t even imagine what your mind does dealing with stuff like this. On one hand, nothing is 100% and you know this, but on the other hand it’s incredibly unlikely. I will tell you that my wife, I don’t think ever understood what I was going through. It was two weeks before I could get back in to do a third test on the vasectomy and they told me there was sperm found.
Two weeks where I have to see her every day and have this on my mind nonstop. Checking the bank account balances every day to make sure she isn’t pulling cash out in anticipation of a divorce. Snooping through her emails and text messages. Trying to come up with a plan just in case the shit hits the fan.
The thing is I trusted her completely and I was still having these thoughts. My family and friends were telling me that they didn’t even think it was possible that she would cheat on me. OP needs to get her anger and emotions in check and see a therapist. She hasn’t seem to take into account any of his feelings here.
bnyc writes:
Any man who is using condoms every time they're having (infrequent) sex is going to question whether they fall into the small percentage of pregnancies that occur with condom use or if it's the far more frequent cause of another man who didn't use a condom.
Just_here2020 writes:
Actually condom failure rate is higher than infidelity that leads to pregnancy in the general population. So it’s telling when a guy assumes infidelity rather than very common birth control failure.
13% condom failure rate.
2-3% infidelity / pregnancy rate - abd that includes men who are knowingly raising another man’s child (so sperm donors, ex-bf prior to existing marriage, etc).