Pregnant woman refuses to marry BF of 12 years; says it shouldn't be 'knee-jerk.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to marry my high school sweetheart?"
My partner (28M) and I (29F) have been together for 12 years. We met when we were next-door neighbors as children and started dating at 16. We made it through high school, then college, and now we live together.
We've both had conversations about marriage, and we agreed on it not being a priority as we're content with our lives right now. That was until I fell pregnant. I'm currently 33 weeks along, and my boyfriend proposed to me a week after we found out.
While I appreciate my partner's intention of wanting to do the right thing, I strongly believe that getting married solely because of the pregnancy is not a solid foundation for a lifelong commitment. My parents married only because they were about to have me, and it ended terribly.
Marriage should be a thoughtful decision based on love, mutual respect, and shared aspirations, rather than a knee-jerk reaction to unexpected circumstances.
He doesn't see it that way and has been pestering me about getting married throughout my pregnancy. He says now that it's his priority to get married before our baby is born because he wants our child to grow up in a traditional household.
My partner has never been the conservative type and has been very liberal in his views, alongside coming from a liberal family. So, this confused and frustrated me a lot. We've gotten into big arguments over this topic. And now, I'm beginning to feel as though I should just say yes to minimize this constant tension and stress..
Here's what people had to say to OP:
taashaak writes:
Your having a baby together- news flash: that’s a lifelong commitment
AmbitiousDesigner988 OP responded:
exactly I feel like that’s a larger commitment
AmberIsla writes:
YTA. Just be honest and admit after 12 years you don’t wanna marry him
klassykitty1 asks:
If she wasn't pregnant would he have asked?
AmbitiousDesigner988 OP responded:
He’s always said that marriage was something he wanted after having all our kids
Schafer_Isaac writes:
YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER 12 YEARS and you aren't certain about marriage? How long do people need to know the person they're with is worth marrying? 50 years? 80? 2 billion? YTA. Sheesh
Fun_Concentrate_7844 writes:
You are together 12 years and are now having a baby,. But, you don't know if this relationship is the real deal, life-long commitment type relationship yet???
AmbitiousDesigner988 OP responded:
We got together when we were really young and have had a lot of issues throughout.
bmkhoz writes:
How can you be reluctant about marriage after 12 years and now a child…. Bit late for second doubts now hun. But to answer the question yes you are coming across as the a%$hole