Woman catches husband eating bread for recipe, she loses it; he 'didn't know.' UPDATED

Being married means you have a million little things to get annoyed over, that is the true spice of domestic life. Luckily, for every unresolved grievance, there is a chorus of internet commenters chomping at the bit to share their opinions on it all.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for yelling at her husband over bread. She wrote:

"AITA for yelling at my husband over bread?"

Whenever I buy something out of the ordinary with a specific dinner purpose in mind, my husband manages to find it and eat it. I am sure if I was planning to bake something and bought yeast, I would come home to find him completely distended and surrounded in empty yeast packets.

I usually stick to the same grocery list every week, and I feel like if I buy something out of the ordinary that is clearly an ingredient for a larger meal, he could at least ask before devouring it. Last night, I bought two baguettes, which I have only every purchased to make French bread pizza for him and our kids.

I bought these at 11pm, and they were not even here twelve hours when I saw them on the counter, with the first six inches ripped off of each loaf, scanned the house, and saw my husband chewing. If it had been one loaf, okay. If he had used a knife, maybe.

But the fact that he didn’t ask if they were going to be for dinner and then ripped the top off of both of them like that final boss bloater in The Last of Us that lumbers out of the hole and rips the guy’s head off, this is unforgivable. He insists I should tell him when I buy things for a specific purpose. I say I am already taking on the burden of grocery shopping and cooking and the least he can do is ask. Am I the AH here?

People quickly shared their thoughts in the comments.

jmbbl wrote:

NTA. OP shouldn't have to label every food item that comes into the house. Especially since this is a pattern, the husband should learn to ask first. It's not hard to say, "Hey, are you saving these baguettes for something? Because if you're not, I want to tear six inches off each one and leave the mangled remains on the counter."

Jstolemygirl wrote:

He ate pieces of *different* loaves. Either he has failed basic comprehension of food safety and storing, or he is intentionally eating things you bring for dinner. You also said it was in the "do-not snack" area. Consider a divorce before it becomes your keys, your wallet, etc. NTA, but your husband loves being one.

Pauscha580 wrote:

NTA. Just because he ate off of both loaves before finishing the first one. Who the heck does that?

farawayovation wrote:

NTA. Anyone who struggles to understand what are routine groceries and what are special groceries through the context of living with someone 24/7 is socially maladjusted. You shouldn't have to spell it out each time. And who rips the top off each baguette rather than just has one baguette to themselves? Sounds like someone with zero social awareness tbh.

SmadaSlaguod wrote:

NTA, he's doing it on purpose. He resents that you are expecting him to NOT have free access over every single piece of food that comes into your house, and he's making a point to eat anything he sees that you obviously have plans for. It's selfish behavior. It's either that, or he's insufferably stupid.

"He can't read her mind!" but he shouldn't HAVE to, it should be obvious that if something is there that isn't normally there, you ASK why it was bought before you rip into it like an animal.

So. Either he's too stupid to understand that not all food belongs to him, or he's doing it for control. And I'm leaning towards the control. He even made sure to tear up BOTH loaves, so there wasn't even one intact loaf to use! That was on purpose!

After receiving lots of questions and comments, OP jumped on with some clarifications.

Edit: Some pertinent information:

We have two snack cabinets that he is free to snack from, not to mention whatever’s in the fridge.

The bread was in a cabinet that is mostly ingredients.

There was regular sandwich bread for the taking that was unharmed.

For those who have stated that this is raccoon-like behavior, it really does feel like I am running a wildlife rehab operation, but the only patient is a 37-year-old software programmer.

To the dude who said that my husband is going to “leave me for another woman who will give him peace,” tell me you’re still bitter about how things ended with Sheila without telling me you’re still bitter about how things ended with Sheila.

And after the post fully blew up, she showed her husband and shared a major update:

Update: Wow, I was not expecting this to blow up, or for so many people to have such strong feelings about bread. Thank you for all of your input, especially my sister who unexpectedly chimed in. This may be the most validating experience of 7 years of living together. I shared this with my husband, and he accepts his AH status and apologized.

We are going to work on communicating better, and he is going to work on his weaponized incompetence. He wants you to know he occasionally cooks rice and beans, and lately has been making us late-night quesadillas when the kids are asleep. But most of all: “I was just hungry.” -my husband

Clearly, OP is NTA, and she needed this bit of backup to get her husband to admit his raccoon ways.