'AITA for accepting my family's Christmas invitation despite my husband being upset?'
"AITA for accepting my family's Christmas invitation despite my husband being upset?"
I [F32] I met this wonderful man 'Philip' [M36] 2 years ago. We got married 4 months ago. For context, I have a 10 yo son 'Billy' from my previous relationship and my ex isn't in the picture.
I have to admit that Philip's relationship with my family isn't so great. They would disagree on a lot of things. For example, he had an argument with my dad when he said that he was keeping their grandson away from them, but Philip stated he wasn't and that he couldn't visit with Billy because he had work (I was sick at the time).
The latest argument was what made things worse. My mom and sister were discussing natural remedies (they're into this stuff) for my niece and Philip (he's a pediatrician) called both of them 'ignorant' for not using meds instead which caused a huge argument and Philip being no longer welcome at my parents house.
Now they've sent me and Billy an invitation for Christmas, but did not include Philip which, I expected given how strained their relationship has become. I called my mom to confirm that I'll attend, but the minute Philip found out and went off saying he could not believe I was fine with my family excluding him and then agree to go and leave him behind.
I told him it's their celebration and I don't get to decide their guest list for them. And also, I'm not leaving him behind because we did not have any plans for Christmas. He said he thought that we'd 'automatically' celebrate together the 3 of us, but now I'm taking Billy away from him as well.
I thought that was a bit melodramatic because it's literally just few hours at my parents home, but he insisted it was about principle and respect.
We had a big argument and I said that he basically alienated himself by continually picking arguments with my family, but he started ranting saying it wasn't about the fact that they didn't invite him, but the fact that I was willing to let him spend Christmas alone without me and Billy.
We went back and forth on the issue, but do not seem to be able to reach a solution. My parents are used to spending every major holiday with Billy. So you can see how much pressure I'm getting from both sides here.
From the comments:
mummamai writes:
yta. hes your husband and he has done nothing wrong
1 your dad picked a fight because he had to work and you didnt defend him
2 you are encouraging your mum to be an idiot and not be knowledgeable on medications and wanting to do natural healing and when your husband as a medical professional stated the facts you let them be terrible to him
you think its okay to leave your husband alone on Christmas because they are being horrible to him and id be upset to you are not doing anything to defend him when he has done nothing wrong. you taking there side and in doing so shows you dont care for your husband. keep this up and he will leave
Expensive_Theme7023 writes:
Maybe mum can calm the situation down with some lavender oil
YourLittleRuth writes:
How are you not outraged that your parents left YOUR HUSBAND out of the invitation to spend Christmas with them?
And how could you possibly contemplate leaving your husband alone at Christmas? Do you actually *want* to be married to him? You accepted an invitation which excludes him and you think this is reasonable? YTA.
Dee747 writes:
Looks like Ops getting divorce papers for xmas, I know I wouldn’t stand for this, I can’t imagine her husband will