In-laws intentionally lie about wife's food, she calls 911, family tells her to 'grow up.'
'MIL told my husband and I to “stop being martyrs” when we were upset that BIL lied about food he served and I had anaphylaxis because of it.'
I have MCAS, and my husbands family think that I’m faking it.
For clarification for the post:
Mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS) causes a person to have repeated severe allergy symptoms affecting several body systems. In MCAS, mast cells mistakenly release too many chemical agents, resulting in symptoms in the skin, gastrointestinal tract, heart, respiratory, and neurologic systems.
Ok, back to the post!
We went to his nephew’s 3rd bday party. I always “pregame” antihistamines before going anywhere that could present an allergy trigger, so, in addition to my 10mg Zyrtec and Loratadine dose, I had an addition 10mg of both, plus my Cromolyn about 30 minutes before the party started.
Again, for clarification:
Antihistamines are a class of drugs commonly used to treat symptoms of allergies. They are also used to treat a variety of other conditions such as stomach problems, colds, anxiety and more.
And we're back!
BIL was serving hot dogs and hamburgers to the guests for lunch. The hotdogs were beef, but the hamburgers were not. He presented them as beef and did not disclose that the hamburgers were actually plant-based to anyone.
I ate one of the burger patties and, shortly after, started to feel a little weird, so I asked my husband if we could leave.
As we were saying our goodbyes, BIL asked “how was your burger?” I told him it was good and thanked him for cooking. He then says “they weren’t real burgers. They were plant-based. I don’t tell people they’re plant-based, because then no one would want them, and I think they taste better.”
I was so shocked that he did that, I didn’t say anything at first. He started asking if I would have eaten it if I had known and I didn’t know how to respond, so I told him that I regularly eat plant-based foods, so it was weird to me that he wasn’t honest about it.
On the drive home, my throat started feeling sticky, so I took two Benadryls. A few minutes later, my voice got raspy and I started wheezing and couldn’t swallow. When it was clear that the meds I took before plus the Benadryl weren’t going to work, I used my epi-pen.
I didn’t know that you’re supposed to carry two epi-pens with you everywhere you go, so when the reaction came back about ten minutes after the first epi, I was just out of luck.
We tried to rush home to get my other epi-pen, but it got to the point that I was starting to lose consciousness, so my husband called 911, and EMTs met us at the nearest exit off the freeway we were driving on, and they gave me another dose of epi and then 100mg of IV Benadryl. Luckily, that resolved the allergy attack.
Once I finally got home after that whole ordeal, I was feeling terrified of ever going out again. So I made a post on Facebook that said:
“PSA please remember to disclose what foods you’re serving your guests so that they can know if they need to avoid it. Don’t assume anyone’s dietary restrictions, and be sure to be up-front with what you’re serving.
I had an experience today where a plant-based burger was presented as a beef burger, and the server didn’t know that plant-based burgers have allergens in them like peanuts, soy, and potentially cricket flour, which people with shellfish allergies can’t have.
I had anaphylaxis because of this, so just keep that in mind and remember that some people have severe allergies to things you might not even know are in the food.”
My husband's younger sister laugh reacted the post, commented “maybe you should have asked before coming”, and then texted him that I was the most disgusting human on earth, that she couldn’t believe he chose me “over blood”, and that, because of me, she no longer sees him as a brother.
His mom texted him saying “why does she have to be like this”, and when he called her to try and explain the situation, she shouted at him and said that I am tearing their family apart.
He tried to tell her how traumatic it was for him to have to be in that situation and that BIL caused the situation by lying about the food, and she told him we needed to stop being martyrs.
Husband stood by me even though his sister said horrible things and told him that he was dead to her. I guess after we left, his sisters and mom spent several hours talking about how I’ve changed him, how I stole him from them, how I am “not a safe person” because I speak my mind, and how I make up my chronic illness for attention.
So, unbeknownst to me, they were all primed and ready for the attack when I made the post, and they chose to interpret it as an attack on them even though it was non-accusatory and didn’t mention any of them at all.
I'm so done with them. Their gaslighting genuinely had me questioning my sanity. The ableism and vitriol they have towards me is mind blowing, especially because none of them can point to a reason why they hate me when they are pressed for one.
They bond over their loathing of me and I’m just over here vibing with no clue as to why I’m seen as Public Enemy Number One.
These were the top rated comments from readers:
Not to diminish your illness, but that's just the convenient excuse your husband's family is using as to why they hate you. It doesn't make sense because there is no sense to it. They hate you because they hate you.
Odds are they'd hate anyone your husband married: all the bullshit about 'tearing the family apart/stole husband from the family/changed husband' are common phrases used by toxic family members to describe people who won't roll over and let themselves be abused.
I'm betting that if you ask your husband about what his family was like before you came along, you'll find they were just as toxic and hateful, and that someone else - most likely your husband - was their target of choice before.
These people are actually physically dangerous to you. They nearly killed you this time - don't think they won't try it again. Don't go anywhere near them, or accept anything from them, ever again.
The OP responded here:
So you hit the nail on the head. He told me they don’t like me because I speak my mind and can’t be controlled.
We actively tried to murder you cause we don’t believe your allergy but how dare our son/brother stand by you! wtf.
Vaguebooking is no good. You knew who you were talking about and so did they. Let’s not pretend you didn’t intend for them to see it.
That being said, now they’ve shown their a**, I’d name names. Update that post with “Yeah so this was about my in laws. They lied about food and I almost died. Anyone with allergies needs to be super careful who they trust ❤️❤️❤️Stay safe everyone!” then f*cking block them lol.
Some people really only understand the boot. Kick them back into their own puddle of toxicity. I’m this situation, taking the high road is only making yourself a target (and anyone else they decide to poison).
As someone who has dealt with JNMIL trying to sneak foods into mine, my children's, and even her own daughter's plates, never eat food cooked by any of them ever again. My JNMIL does not believe in my gastro issues, my DSs allergies, or SILs choices.
The OP again responded here:
After what was said, I’m going no contact. I’m sos sorry you’ve dealt with similar issues and that your medical issues are called into question. I just don’t get why people do that.