Best man refuses to walk down aisle at wedding because of 'bride's attitude.' AITA?
When this best man puts his foot down, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for refusing to walk up the aisle as best man?'
My best friend (Liam) is getting married in January. He asked me to be his best man and his brother (Craig) to be his groomsman. His fiance asked Craig's wife to be her maid of honour, and another friend to be her second bridesmaid.
My wife is Liam's sister and has not been included in the wedding at all, despite us having Liam as our best man when we got married last year. There's been some falling outs in the family over the past and the result is we are very estranged from Liam's fiance, I'm sure if she could she wouldn't have let him ask me to be best man. My wife cannot stand her and is really hurt to be the only sibling excluded from the wedding.
Now the problem. For some reason Liam's fiance wants the groomsmen to walk up the aisle with the bridesmaids before she enters. She said technically I should walk up linked with Craig's wife since I'm best man and she's maid of honour.
But she thought it would be 'sweet' to let Craig and his wife walk together so I'd be with the other bridesmaid. An important note is that bridesmaids are both wearing white (I dont get it) so honestly it's going to look like three weddings at once.
The whole thing feels like Liam's fiance has set it up to spite my wife since she'll have to sit and watch me walk up the aisle in a suit, holding the arm of another woman in a white dress as part of a wedding she should have been a part of.
I told Liam I wasnt comfortable with it and he said I was being unreasonable and its only 30 seconds then I can sit with my wife and that I should be glad his fiance wasn't asking me to dance with the bridesmaid during the first dance.
But this isn't just '30 seconds' then done, its one of the most important moments in a wedding, everyone will look and there will be lots of photos of it. My wife is already apprehensive about the fact that she'll be alone during cocktail hour while I'm photographed with the wedding party.
At my wedding the groomsmen were already at the altar before the bridesmaids entered so I dont see why Liam couldn't just tell her to do something like that. He's said his fiances word on the matter is final and if I dont agree he'll ask his brother to be best man instead.
I got angry then and told him what I think of his fiance and how much she'd hurt my wife by not including her. He responded by saying his fiance would have asked her to be bridesmaid but there's been too many falling outs since they got engaged in 2018.
I honestly think he just said that to be a dick and blame his sister. We haven't spoken in the few days since then. AITA here because I feel like I'm being forced to be uncomfortable and make my wife uncomfortable in the process?
Let's find out.
webbivanderquack writes:
YTA. Your wife 'cannot stand' Liam's fiancee but has some expectation that she should be a part of the bridal party? Why is your wife 'apprehensive about the fact that she'll be alone during cocktail hour?' Why would she be upset about you walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid? Sorry, but you and your wife are the problem here.
kakistan writes:
YTA, I get that your disappointed your wife isn't included, but honestly there's no reason for her to be. She's the grooms sibling and the bride has no reason to include her as a MoH, especially as they're not friendly with each other. You say you're upset because you included Liam in your wedding, but he's including you to the same extent he was.
Finally it's extremely narcissistic of you to assume that the brides plan for walking to the altar was entirely conceived to spite your wife.It's 30 seconds. Suck it up, or drop out because it seems you have an unreasonable problem with the bride.
merrydragon9 writes:
YTA. What narcissists. I mean, do you really think that they designed their whole wedding just to spite you and your wife? Get over yourselves.