Bride wants to help bridesmaids lose weight before she marries a 'gym rat.' AITA?
When this bride is concerned for her bridesmaids, she asks Reddit:
'WIBTA if I offered to help bridesmaids diet before my wedding?'
I am marrying a gym rat personal trainer. And I helped him when he was getting certified and, in the process, I lost 30 lbs and haven't felt better not just about how I look, but I feel less fatigued and have more energy.
I have a few bridesmaids who are overweight. And they mention it a lot, which I get because were friends and we vent about things like our insecurities. I don't care about their weight. I want them in my wedding because they're my close friends.
But they've made little comments about how they always want to lose weight and hope they don't look awful in their dress and all of that. At the time, I immediately told them they'd look great because I never want them to feel bad about how they look. But after I thought about it, I have some really great weight loss tips that I used that changed my life.
Sustainable diets is a big thing for me and I eat tons or bread, I have pasta, I eat popcorn daily, etc and wondered if it'd be appropriate to offer since I know they're insecure. And, for me, I only ever really felt confident after I actually lost the weight so I know my reassurance can only go so far.
I obviously don't want to make them feel bad or anything either, though. But I also don't want them not feeling confident on my wedding. I've let them pick what kind of dresses they feel comfy with and all, but I know the insecurity and I want to both be considerate and gentle while also giving them some tips and tricks to help themselves look how they want.
I haven't done anything at all, so be brutally honest if this would be an AH move. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings at all so im not mentioning any health things unless I know it'll be well received. AITA?
Let's find out.
alarmedjellyfish writes:
YTA You lost a good bit of weight, if they honestly wanted advice from you they would have asked. And if you bring this up now, it's absolutely going to seem like you're just another Bridezilla trying to control how their bridesmaids look at their wedding. Unless they ask for tips, keep it to yourself.
amethystjade writes:
NTA, assuming these friends are talking about wanting to lose weight in the first place. And like someone else said, not in the framework of 'so you look good in my wedding.' The next time one of them says something like, 'Ohh, I wish I weren't overweight, I would really love to lose weight' I think you'd be fine to say...
'I've found some stuff that worked really well for me' and if they're not interested, drop it. For reference, I am fat and do not want fitness tips from my skinnier friends, but I also don't talk about wanting to lose weight.
dryad744 writes:
I think ESH. OP for obvious reasons. But honestly, OP says in comments that she let's them pick dresses and all of that, so she's been way more flexible than a lot of brides. So it seems pretty AH move to vent about the insecurities of being in the wedding to the literal bride. If one of my bridesmaids complained about that to me at mt wedding, I'd be worried they dont want to be in the wedding or something. Seems like stressing someone out during a stressful time.