Couple's wedding invitations 'degrade' the guests, 'I thought we were friends?'

"Wedding invite degraded multiple times - I thought we were friends..."

My partner’s cousin is getting married. We live in Cambridge, they live an hour away nearer London. They’ve chosen to have their wedding 6 hours drive away. It’s a 3 day affair. We were initially told accommodation would be sorted for us at the estate.

We have 2 kids - they’d said no children ages ago. Fine, we got that covered over a year ago in anticipation and they gave plenty of notice, so plans could be made. No worries.

A few months before, on the official invite, we then found they’d reduced us from the 3 day affair, to just the day. No accommodation. Ok - that’s a bit sad but we can get over it. We were then going to stop over in Bristol for a night to see friends on the way down instead and then planned to book a hotel or Airbnb for 2 days instead, and make a little break of it, as we’d already got the kids sorted.

Today, we got the request to RSVP within 3 days. After the RSVPing for both my partner and I, my partner received and email (not on the actual website RSVP), it says: "partner's name ~ day and evening guest. 1:30pm start for the ceremony" "my name ~ evening guest. 7.30pm start."

My partner doesn’t drive, so I would be driving us 6 hours there, 6 hours back. We’d be spending a fair amount of money on the petrol and the accommodation, drinks. And now I’m told I’m only going to be there from 7:30pm onwards?

We’re both annoyed...maybe because it’s fresh. But both me and my partner are like, "Ermmm, why has this not been mentioned before now, at the least?" The place is fairly remote, in the countryside - am I just going to sit by myself for 6 hours, after spending an arm (and potentially a leg) to come to the wedding?

Like, this area is not cheap so accommodation is expensive. Average is around $170+ per night, and fuel is not exactly cheap either...I expect 2 tanks so that’s like around $160 for us. So that’s around $500…for me to go to the wedding of my partners cousin for 4 hours…

Here's what people had to say about this one:

AmbivalentSpiders said:

I wouldn't go. I mean, go somewhere while you've got childcare, have fun with it, but don't go to the wedding. Those people suck.

TJ_Figment said:

Don’t go. That’s a piss take. You don’t invite part of a married couple to the entire wedding and the other to only the evening do. Especially if it’s 6 hours away from home. Have a nice weekend away together.

Amazing_Reality2980 said:

I’d bet they planned a big 3 day wedding and reception inviting everyone, but reality and costs hit, and they’ve had to scale way back. And I’d guess the chapel or wherever the ceremony will be has a smaller capacity than they thought which is why you’re no longer invited.

Very poor planning and communication all around and I don’t blame you for being annoyed. Personally, I’d still make a fun weekend of it, but I’d skip the whole affair and go somewhere I actually want to go for a romantic kid-free few days.

Prestigious-Bluejay5 said:

Don't go. That's so tacky and rude. You are only invited for the grift...Sorry, gift.

Lisa_Knows_Best said:

Cancel. Not only is it a waste of money at this point but it's terribly insulting the way they are treating you.

AlterEgoAmazonB said:

This is incredibly rude. Decline to go. Send half of a gift.