Former bride shares mother-in-law horror story from wedding day, 'the silence was SO LOUD.'
"Throwback wedding story with in-laws drama..."
Backstory: My MIL did not want my husband and I getting married when we were planning to, saying she thought we were too young (we were 23 & 24) and that they also didn’t have the finances to help us pay for the wedding. (I told her we didn’t need their money and would be paying for it all ourselves.
My family also ended up helping though.) She also said she was offended that her son hadn’t asked her for permission prior to asking me to marry him so she said he did everything all “wrong.”
MIL and SIL even came over to my parents house to try to convince them to also go against our wishes on getting married. (SIL didn’t speak but was only there to be nosey and give dirty looks to my parents and I.) MIL was disappointed in the end when she realized her plan failed and my parents stated they would still be fully supporting us despite her visit.
Afterwards, my SIL also texted me and tried to convince me to postpone the wedding until her mother “approved” saying that my MIL was so “upset” and “hurt” by our decisions. I told my MIL I was sorry she was not happy about it but that we would not be cancelling or postponing the wedding. (Husband had also told her the same already.)
From that moment on, both she and my SIL began saying I was so “rude” and “selfish.” I also later found texts on my husband’s phone where my SIL called me a list of curse names. She then proceeded to block me off all her social media and stopped speaking to me.
As our wedding planning continued, my MIL got word that my dad was going to be our wedding officiant and she was completely livid. I told her my husband and I had made that choice together and he equally wanted my dad to be the one to marry us. She then said she wanted to bring in her own officiant to marry us. I initially wanted to say no, but ended up giving in.
I told her to let me know when she was planning to meet with the officiant she chose so that I could come along and meet them as well. To my surprise, she asked “And why do you need to come? Aren’t I allowed to pick who I want?” I said “Yes but I need to approve of them because I’m the bride.”
Well, a week before the wedding I still hadn’t gotten word back from her about the officiant. I gave her a call and got not answer. Several texts and also no answer. She responded 4 days before the wedding saying she was “so busy” getting herself ready and getting her nails done.
I was frustrated and told her it was 4 days before the wedding and I still had no details about the officiant and that I needed to know what scheduling they would be following. Once again I was called rude by both her and my SIL. I guess she hadn’t found anyone because at the end she told me to just let my dad be the officiant as planned.
Well the day finally came and both my MIL and SIL never gave a penny of contribution for the wedding nor did they offer to help in any way despite knowing we had no professional wedding decorators and that just a few of my family members would be setting up the decorations themselves, including my parents.
My MIL also made sure to give me nothing but dirty looks as my father walked me down the aisle. SIL also attended but never turned in my direction and never spoke a word to me the whole night. When it came time for my first dance with my husband, only my family cheered for us, same with when I had my dance with my father.
The silence from their table was SO loud. But of course when it was time for the mother-son dance, my SIL and her sister made sure to clap and cheer extra loud for her mother. And that’s the story of all the drama that went down at my wedding thanks to my in laws. Unforgettable times for sure!!
Here's what people had to say about this one:
Selfpsycho said:
Quite frankly I am surprised your husband even bothered with the mother-son dance. I would have just said, well you didn't want to be here so i planned for you not to and just danced off with my new spouse
MoneyFluffy2289 said:
This happened to one of my sisters. Her mil wanted to give a 'reading' during the ceremony, and followed her Bible verse with a long, unhinged speech (crying the whole time) about not wanting her son to marry my sis. Pure awkwardness. Priest resumed the ceremony like, "so, anyway..."
Which_Stress_6431 said:
I hope in a speech either you or your husband made sure to make a big deal of thanking your family & friends for all the support & help they gave to the planning and day of the wedding, making a point of excluding your MIL and SIL. And if anyone asks why your ILs weren't mentioned, tell them the truth.
fallen_aussie said:
I guarantee she was 100% hoping you'd cancel since she didn't find an officiant.
Glyphwind said:
This is all good and that...BUT...you husband is not doing much to protect/stand up for you. That silence is deafening too.
OP responded to the above comment:
Until these issues began, I had never noticed while dating my husband that he had been raised so manipulated by his mother. He said she raised him to believe that family always came first before anyone else which she constantly used to guilt trip him during our engagement period by saying he was “hurting” her and she couldn’t believe she was picking me over her.
Of course he loves his mother so hearing her say this made him feel terrible as well since he believed he had to “pick between us.” So in a way I kind of felt bad for him but thankfully my parents also helped him understand his mother was completely wrong and that this wasn’t a matter of “picking who over who.”
We also had pre-marital counseling during this time and he did begin standing up for me. (This had also been an issue before because his mother used to tell him he was being “disrespectful” to her when he stood up for me.)
He also spoke with his sister about how it was never okay for her to insult me or disrespect me in any way and that if she continued, he would also stop talking to her, which he did when she decided to ignore me.