Man 'humiliates' wife at parent teacher conference when he insults son's teacher. AITA?
When this father embarrasses his wife at a parent teacher conference, he asks Reddit:
'AITA because I stuck up for my kid during a parent teacher conference?'
So today we had a parent teacher conference for my 12 year old son. We spoke with 7 teachers and 6 of them went great (A's and B's with great things to say about him).There was one teacher though that had some bad things to say (they are on there phone during class and doesn't pay attention).
I took a mental note to talk to him about looking at his phone and to pay a little more attention in class (the class is sewing and he is currently getting a B-, not too bad). Then she said something that just blew me away, she said that all the kids now were 'crazy' and 'nuts' going on about how they were all just disrespectful and basically didn't care about the school or society...
I stopped her and said 'I can't believe that just came out of your mouth' and could she repeat herself. At that time my wife said to stop it and was obviously embarrassed.
Then the teacher doubled down and went off on a tangent explaining that all the kids are just awful and are destroying the school and have no respect for anyone, how they think nothing is their fault and that basically all the kids in the school are just terrible and selfish.
My wife and son were very embarrassed about the way I acted, but honestly if they wouldn't have told me to stop I would have escalated it because my son comes home every other day feeling like a failure after interacting with this teacher.
I guess what I'm getting at is, am I the AH for embarrassing my son and wife or am I in the right to stand up to someone like this?
What she said was totally unprovoked, that's why I was blindsided by what was coming out of her mouth during a parent teacher conference. All I said was 'could you say that again' and 'I can't believe that just came out of your mouth.' AITA?
Let's see what Reddit had to say.
disneyland4ever writes:
NTA. You have the right to stand up about this, it feels uncomfortable for folks who don’t enjoy confrontation to be part of that. They could also be worried that there will now be retaliation towards your son from this teacher that makes it worse. Honestly, you should let the principal know about what was said though, because it is not okay.
visualhumor writes:
YTA. It doesn’t seem like this teacher worded things very well, but what if she had said, “Your son’s phone usage in class isn’t just a matter of inattentiveness; it’s also a matter of respect.
When I’ve asked him to put his phone away, he has at times responded disrespectfully, as have many of his peers.” Because that seems like what she was trying to say. Does it seem reasonable to have blown up at her for communicating a valid point inartfully?
beck2010 writes:
Please sit down with your son and tell him that his teacher’s attitude is wrong and ugly. Tell him it appears she has forgotten that you do NOT lump all kid’s behaviors together, as in, if Timmy did something wrong then everyone is to blame, too.
NTA. If your son is coming home miserable due to this teacher, you should reach out to administration. Your wife also needs to get over being “embarrassed” because you calmly and rightly called out someone’s garbage behavior and statements.
My son is 12. When he tells me about something that happened in school that could involve a parent’s reaction, I ask him “do you want me to reach out to your teacher/administration, or do we want to wait and see if things change over the next week?” That provides him some control and allows him make decisions. Obviously, if it’s bad, I’ve explained I may not ask but gather facts and contact admin/teacher ASAP.