When this man is annoyed with his husband-to-be's friend, he asks Reddit:
I (37, M) am getting married next month. My Fiancé, 'Nick' (names changed for privacy) (38, M) has a friend (We will call her Juliette) who has never liked me. I've tried many times to get to know her, but she always treats me coldly.
Well, here's the issue. I have a troubled past, and at one point, I was a se* worker. It wasn't an ideal job, but it financially got me through some hard times. I was open about my past to my fiance, and he has been nothing but understanding.
His friend has done her best to repeatedly interfere in our wedding plans. Two days ago, she outed my past to my fiancée family. I never told them because it wasn't their business. His dad and younger half-brother took issue with it, but his mom and sister don't care.
I went OFF on her. I told her that I have done nothing but extend the olive branch repeatedly, and all she has done is spit on my efforts. I announced that she was banned from the wedding and reception. My fiancé supports me, and he is furious with her.
His dad and brother, however, have said that if she isn't invited, then they refuse to come. Nick told them that he stands by my choice, but his dad called me a bit ago, and told me I'm being a selfish AH, and that I should just suck it up and tolerate her. Yeah, I'm furious, but now I'm second-guessing myself. Reddit, AITA?
needlworker8 writes:
First, NTA. Second, the BFF is absolutely trying to ruin the wedding and dad & brother are in on it. You and fiancé need to wake up and smell the scorned BFF's jealousy and the family's bigotry. If I had to guess, BFF, dad and brother are all in on trying to get fiancé to marry BFF. Who knows how long they've been working on this.
iamothro writes:
NTA. If your fiance's dad and brother don't want to come to the wedding, that's their call. If they want to choose some weird stalker girl over their own son, they never cared much for him in the first place. Let them have their tantrum, go no contact with them also, get into therapy, and move on with your lives.
spnip writes:
NTA. Seems like she is in love with you fiancé and probably thinks if she can make you go away she will get him. Is it possible the in laws are feeding her this story and that why they got so defensive?
So, last night, Nick ended his friendship with Juliette. The exchange got pretty heated, but I stayed out of it. My future sister and mother-in-law both removed her from the house... shall we say forcefully? I read several of the comments to Nick's dad and brother, and they did NOT go over well. Nick put his foot down and told them to either respect the love we have for one another or they would never see us again.
I fully shared my story with his family, explaining WHY I had to go into se* work. (I was kicked out of my abusive home, on the streets) His mom and sister both reinforced that they don't care and that I will always be welcome and loved. I don't know what will happen with Nick's dad and brother, and part of me hopes that we can all come to an understanding.