Man and husband request their kids be served adult menu at wedding. AITA?
When this man and his husband is annoyed with the adult menu wedding, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for requesting my kids to be served the adult menu at the wedding?'
So I (40M) and my husband (M45) will be attending my brother's wedding in a couple of months, with our two children (5yo and 6yo). His fiancée is a lovely girl and we get along very well. She is, however, kinda stressed about the whole organization and anxious that everything goes smooth on her special day.
For the dinner reception, all the kids aged 10yo and younger will be seated at the kids table and will be served 'kids' food: chicken nuggets, fries etc... which is a safe option because those 'dishes' are easy and popular amongst young (and very often, picky) children.
I totally get it. That being said, besides the 'not-so-very' healthy aspect, we also raised our children from a very young age to eat the very same dishes as we do for our meals. And they have done pretty well so far. We are actually proud that they developed their palate and enjoy good food when they taste it. And I know from experience that they will not really eat much if served chicken nuggets & fries, and will ask to eat what we eat.
Therefore, I reached out to my brother and her fiancée and asked them very politely whether it would be possible to serve them the same dishes as the adults, for the reasons above. I also offered them to pay for the cost of having the caterer serve two additional meals.
But for some reasons, she freaked out and said that would look messy to have different dishes served at the kids table. That would also look (facially) unfair to the other kids not to be served those dishes, if/when the other parents notice it. Even if she reaches out to the parents ahead to give them the option to pay for their kids to be served the adult menu, this would also (unconsciously) pressure on the parents to pay.
I understand her perspective, but I also would think that kids won't really mind and be happy with their kids meal. My brother also understands both positions and preferred to leave it to me and my future SIL to sort this out. I haven't followed up with her yet, and am debating whether to suck it up, with the risk that our children won't eat anything and go hungry, or to push further. Let me know if I sound entitled and an AH. But please, don't judge me for how we raised our children in terms of food taste. AITA?
Let's find out.
poedam writes:
YTA. To be clear - I have no problem with your basic premise, and it is great your kids are willing to eat whatever you eat. I also think it was ok to ask, especially given you offered to cover the food cost. But, now that the bride has said no, it is time for you to let this go and you would be an asshole if you continued to pursue this. If your kids are so good at eating whatever you feed them, then you just need to explain that there is a special kids menu and they will be eating that food for this special event.
If you are concerned they will not eat nuggets and fries, bring some under the radar snacks you can give them after dinner (granola bars or something like that). The main thing is that this just isn't important enough to stress the bride out any more than she is already.
outrageouslypenguin writes:
YTA. This was a very entitled thing for you to request. Planning a wedding is complicated and nobody needs to be dealing with a bunch of individualized special requests for food. You and your children should be served food and they can safely eat and that’s all you should expect. You’re welcome to offer some of your own food to your kids if you want.
It’s weird that in attempting to raise your kids to eat a variety of foods, you’re actually creating a different sort of entitlement and pickiness. The goal should be for them to eat what they’re served without complaining…which includes when they’re served nuggets and fries. Though honestly, I’m a little skeptical that they’ll actually be unhappy with the food: seems more like you take any opportunity to make sure everyone knows how sophisticated you’re raising your kids to be.
oddicey writes:
Mild YTA. Sure the other kids might not care, but their adult parents could. And weddings get enough guest/weird family politics drama as is on a normal day. Totally understandable if the bride is stressed about that. Important to be a good guest too so if it's stressing her out and she's said no, just leave it as is. Your kids will probably be fine for one night. Just feed them beforehand or afterwards.