Man upsets wife when he won't make sandwich for pregnant SIL. AITA? Family's divided.
When this man is sick of his pregnant SIL, he asks Reddit:
'AITA For refusing to make my SIL a sandwich when she's pregnant?'
My wife's sister, Ann (29F), is currently 5-months pregnant. She and her BF, the baby's father, have hit a rough patch and Ann came to stay with us. She's been living with us for about 6 weeks now. Her job allows her to work from home, so she pretty much spends all of her time at our house.
Both my wife and I work outside of the home, so Ann is at home by herself a lot. For the most part, she's a good houseguest. She's not overly messy and is mostly pleasant to be around.
But, pregnancy is weird. I understand hormones are a thing. Ann will have mood swings and gets emotional really easily. She also gets cravings, which for some reason have fallen on me to solve.
My wife has sent me out of the house at all hours of the day to get something for Ann, or send me on errands after work to pick up something specifically for Ann. When I protest to my wife, she says that Ann is going through an incredibly hard time and we need to be supportive of her.
I kind of blew up at my wife when she sent me out to get Ann some fast food at 1am this past Saturday. I told my wife she should go, but she said she had to get up early for an appointment the next day. I ended up going, but told my wife that I'm done with this because I'm not an errand boy nor am I the father of Ann's kid.
The next day it was just Ann and I at our house while my wife was out running errands. I made myself a sandwich for lunch and when Ann saw it, she said it looked really good and asked if I could make one for her too. I told her the ingredients were still on the counter so she can make one herself. She said she was feeling lightheaded and needed to sit down, but that some food would help her.
I tried to tell her no, but she started getting emotional and saying how hard pregnancy is when you don't have a partner. I said 'fine' and went to make her a sandwich. But then, she told me that I will have to heat the lunchmeat up because her doctor told her not to have lunchmeat unless it's heated up first.
At that point, I told her that I'm not her baby's daddy, nor am I her servant. I told her I've tried to be supportive and helpful, but that I'm done playing the role of her partner. I told her that, out of courtesy, I've given her privacy regarding her relationship issues, but that she's going to need to figure out a plan soon because this current situation isn't working for me anymore.
Ann started crying and I ended up leaving to give myself a chance to cool down. When I got home, my wife was pretty much waiting for me and immediately laid into me.
She told me I was a huge asshole for not just making Ann a sandwich, and an even bigger asshole for pretty much threatening to kick her out. She said that I should have known better than to bring up her relationship and that it was a huge jerk move.
My wife has always said that this would be temporary while Ann figures her stuff out, but the further Ann's pregnancy goes, the less progress I see towards a solution. AITA?
Let's find out.
forgivemaster8 writes:
Nta ,tell your wife as of now She alone is responsible for her sister needs /cravings you are helping enough by letting her stay. I also agree with the comments to set a fix3d date for sil to move out asap and before the 7 /7,5 months or you will live with the baby.
moudine writes:
NTA. I'm 6 months pregnant and I'd be MORTIFIED to ask such a thing of my brother-in-law, let alone anyone, let alone someone kind enough to let me stay in their home. She can drive, she can get sandwich meat and make the dang sandwich herself. This is craziness.
heiwhoisright writes:
NTA. You're right, you're not Ann's partner or errand boy, and it's not your job to wait on her. What's even more disturbing is that your wife doesn't ever appear to take your side. It doesn't seem like she wants to be your partner in this life, and that you two need counseling at a minimum. Your wife also owes you a major apology.