Man wants to tell wife she was 'selfish' the way she planned family vacation. WIBTA?
When this husband is upset with his wife, he asks Reddit:
'WIBTA for telling my wife I'm unhappy with how she planned our family vacation?'
My wife and I have pre-teen triplets who we take on vacation every year. Critical information is that while we share finances, she makes about 3 times what I do and we (or more accurately she) uses her bonus each year for vacations. She is happy to do this as far as I know.
This year I suggested Colorado. Not only is it one of the most beautiful areas in our country, but I happened to be stationed there many years ago. Also, it would provide me with the opportunity to spend time with, and possibly say goodbye to one of my closest friends who has stage 4 liver cancer.
I expressed my wish to spend some quality time with him as she was booking the trip. She stated we weren't going to fly all the way there just to hang out at his house and planned many activities for the week. We just got home from this trip and due to her scheduling activities for the vast majority of the time, I got to see my friend cumulatively for less than half of a day.
And to clarify, she would not have been comfortable taking the kids to any of the activities without me. He just texted me to thank me for visiting, but expressed some frustration that we had so little time together. I shared the same feeling, as it may be the last time I see him.
WIBTA for telling her I'm upset that she didn't allocate more time for me to see him? I'm already question myself because we went on 'her dime'. He has an in-ground pool and stuff in his back yard, so a day or two there wouldn't have been 'boring'. AITA?
Let's find out.
holidaydoc1996 writes:
YTA. I disagree with him being firmer. The wife is taking on the mental load of planning a vacation for her whole family and is paying for it and OP expects her to tailor the trip to his friend. If he wants to spend more time with the friend, he should have offered to plan the trip and he should have taken on the load of figuring out how to keep the kids occupied.
Also I think making the family vacation into a goodbye trip is not the best either. OP should have planned a separate trip to see the friend rather than hijacking the family vacation, or flew out early or stayed a day later to spend time with the friend.
blackcrowblue writes:
Even with a pool it’s not really something your kids would really want to do for a couple days with a very sick stranger. It’d be sad and awkward. The solution could have been that you stayed in Colorado for a couple extra days with your friend.
You wouldn’t have to worry about entertaining your kids or making your wife plan the trip around this visit. Or you could’ve arrived a couple days early then met up with your family.
Gentle YTA because you can’t expect your family to hang out somewhere for 2 days of vacation. It would be distracting to you and force your friend to play host to multiple extra people.
farcough8 writes:
YTA. You could’ve gone back to your friends place once your kids were in bed to get some more time… Gotten up early each morning to take him a coffee before reuniting for breakfast with your family.
Ridiculous that you’re so sanctimoniously mad after coming home without finding creative ways to see your friend most days without sacrificing your kids holiday, which is what this was. It isn’t the job of your kids or wife to sacrifice time on a holiday to accommodate your express wishes to be somewhere they didn’t want to be (your mates house) on your wife’s dime, nonetheless.