MOH and bridal party shocked by bridezilla's behavior. 'We want our money back.'
When this woman is shocked at by her bride-to-be friend's behavior, she asks Reddit:
'AITA My BFF Ruined Her Wedding?'
I am a maid of honor in my best friends wedding. The wedding was suppose to happen this October. The other weekend on a business trip she let a coworker (male) sleep in the bed with her. The next morning she texted her fiance to tell him because she was feeling guilty. He was very angry of course and within the next day or two he broke up with her.
The wedding is canceled whether they workout the relationship or not. All her bridesmaids including myself had already purchased our dresses, and come to find out we can not return or get refunded on them (each dress was $250-300). We had a beach trip planned for the Bach party which was close to $500 a person. I was asked by the 'bride' to consult with all the girls planning on going on the trip to see if we wanted to keep the trip booked or try and get a refund.
Out of all the girls only one was opposed to still going and her reasoning was completely understandable. I then inquired about canceling the trip which i was able to with a cancellation fee of $75. I was pretty upset about finding out we could not return the dresses or get any money back. Its not like a bridesmaid dress is something easy to sell especially without losing any money on it.
I asked the bride to pay the cancellation fee for the because i did not think it was fair we were all losing money on our dresses, so why should we lose more money? She was very offended that i asked her to pay so all the girls could get their full refund. We got in an argument over the ordeal and we both said some mean things to each other. I want to know was i complete asshole for asking for the cancellation fee? Or is it understandable wanting her to pay it since she was the one who created the problem in the first place?
(I was here for her the min she told me what was happening!! I talked to her on the phone days in a row for hours at a time! As soon as she got home from the business trip i drove the hour to her house to be with her before i had two events that night. I have checked on her every single day since this had happened! I have been on the cheating side i know what it feels like to make mistakes and feel terrible about yourself all too well!
This was also not her first time mistake “cheating” on her man. And she was honest with him about the first time after they got engaged and then when this incident happened she told him right away bc she felt bad for waiting so long the first time. They worked it out the first time and got through it and this time the dude is not okay and wants end it.
I let my emotions and anger about the dress and stuff get the best of me for sure and i shouldn’t have asked her for the fee with everything being so fresh. But this is the kind of things ppl don’t think about when making poor decisions.) AITA?
Let's find out.
owlcity writes:
ESH Although the bride’s poor decision caused her wedding to be cancelled between her and the groom, you could’ve waited to ask about the $75 cancellation fee. If anything, pay it and then just tell her when everything cools down. Besides, you’re the Maid of Honor, where’s your support for your best friend? Are you not her best friend anymore because she made a dumb decision?
brookeg writes:
NTA. But only after reading the other things you’ve done to support and comfort her. Without the knowledge that you have shown up for her emotionally you just seem bitchy (judgmental wording doesn’t help add anything meaningful to the explanation of events, it just sounds like you’re trying to be morally superior). I would include an edit in the original so people get the full story before jumping to conclusions.
overalldisaster writes:
NTA. It doesn't sound like it's just about the $75 but also about the almost $300 dress you won't get refunded for. Between that and a $500 bach trip she sounds like a bridezilla. I would feel terrible asking my friends to pay that much and then I would feel REALLY horrible if the wedding was cancelled and they were out that money. I think if she was a good, caring friend she'd pay the $75 but her anger shows she doesn't really give a rip that you guys are out money.