Woman pissed sister won't let her toddler swim in pool due to 'hygiene.' AITA?
When this mom feels like her sister ruined a family event, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for causing family drama over a swimming pool?'
I (F30's) live with my partner and our two kids, ages 7 and 3. My older sister 'Ava' (also F30's) and her husband recently purchased a house in the local area. It's a super nice place with a big yard and as you can probably guess from the title, a swimming pool. Ava recently hosted a barbecue at her place. It wasn't a huge event, she invited me, our parents and our other siblings.
She mentioned letting the kids play in the pool so I only assumed my kids would get to be included. We are potty training although my youngest is still in diapers at the moment. At the barbecue, I was getting my youngest ready for the pool by changing him into a swim diaper.
Ava pulled me aside and told me she doesn't think it's 'hygienic' for my youngest to play in the pool, since swim diapers don't hold pee and she asked that he doesn't swim in the pool with the other kids playing in it.
I didn't think this was fair and told Ava that lots of people, adults and kids, pee in the pool and it would be no different at a public pool so what's the problem? She was being really condescending and wouldn't listen to me at all and said that he can play in the pool when he's 'toilet trained', and said it's not fair on the other kids.
At this point my son was crying because he wanted to swim in the pool and I told Ava she was being cold but it's her house and her pool so do what you want. Ava accused me of trying to guilt trip her and told me to just drop it.
I was getting upset myself at this point and i told our parents and other siblings about what Ava did. They told me it's not a big deal and that it's not worth arguing with her over and try not to let it bother me. I wasn't happy with this because this essentially means they're siding with her and downplaying how she treated me and my son.
I left the barbecue early with my family because we didn't feel welcome after that. The next day Ava messaged me a whole paragraphs and said that she's 'sorry' that I'm upset and that she wasn't trying to exclude my son for the sake of it.
It was a super non-apology and I told her I don't want to hear it and that she's damaged her relationship with her nephew and shes not the one who had to deal with him being upset.
Ava snapped at me out of nowhere and said I'm being dramatic. I told her to grow up and said that I have a very valid reason to be mad, and she needs to stop acting like a teenager. Ava showed these messages to everyone and everything is just a bit up in the air. I feel like I'm right here but the rest of my family doesn't seem to agree. AITA?
Let's find out what internet users had to say.
princelee writes:
YTA. Because this isn't a public pool. It's her private pool at her house, and if she doesn't want to risk having someone piss in it, she should be able to make that call without being argued at. Peeing in public pools is gross and wrong too, FYI.Just because other people do it doesn't make it fine, lmao. Instead of rushing to defend this behavior, have you considered just... Being better?
makerblue writes:
ESH. She really should have let you know beforehand that only potty trained kids were allowed in the pool. Of course your kids were going to want to swim and of course you didn't think it would be an issue.
She should have given you a heads up so you could have prepared. Even not knowing this in advance, it's still her pool and you shouldn't have escalated it the way you did.
firskey writes:
NTA. She should have told you before the BBQ so you could have set expectations for your kid. Sure, her pool, her rules, but she should have handled it better considering she said the kids could use the pool. Not sure how many other kids there were or their ages but I'd bet at least one of the other kids peed in the pool.