'AITA for making my 16 year old daughter get a job?'
"AITA for making my 16 year old daughter get a job?"
I (43f) have 5 kids, but only Rachel (19f), Rose (16f) are important to this story. My kids are homeschooled, Rachel finished her A levels at 18 like normal school but Rose finished her A levels at 16, she is unable to go to university straight away like Rachel as they only accept 18+.
So instead of letting my daughter lie in bed all day, watching TV like she started off with (I let her have a month break because she's worked hard) I got tired of it, and told her it was time to get a job, it would look good for university, and she can start saving up some money for the future.
She said she doesn't want a job, she knows the university will want her as she has perfect grades (A or A* in all four of her a levels).
I let her choose by herself for a month, but now I cannot deal with her lying in bed all day. I sat down with her and we made her university application together, I pointed out she has no work experience (gently might I add) and then she started telling me to get off her back and she will get a job soon.
Rachel messaged me telling me that Rose is annoyed at me for always telling her to get a job, and how it is unrealistic to expect a 16 year old to get a job. I am concerned I am TA because she is 16, but I don't think I am because she cannot expect to get into uni just because of her grades, she needs some kind of work experience aswell. AITA?
Let's find out what people had to say:
INFO: Why is this coming up now? It's on the verge of winter holidays, not the time of year a kid would typically finish out the school year or be looking for work.
InevitableCricket901 OP responded:
Results day was in August, so I let her have a break through september, so the fight has been going on for over a month.
From what I remember, my A-levels were all finished by the end of June. So she's actually had 4 months of a break, no?
InevitableCricket901 OP responded:
Yes, I just counted from the nearest day because I didn't mind her not having a job in case her results didn't come back as well as they did, in case she wanted to retake an a level
tainae writes:
For real. OP is complaining about a teenager laying around at home all day? Do you know why? She has no friends or social life! These kids are going to grow to resent you for destroying their childhoods and sheltering them. Teenagers should be spending free time being kids with their friends, yes, including homeschooled ones. YTA.
jcbashbash writes:
YTA. You should have allowed her to have the normal trajectory of a teenager… instead she was not only homeschooled but ended 2 years early. What social life does she have? What impetus to have spending money of her own? Independence of her own? 16 is young to think about every move being about college. She needs more.
I don’t think you’re an AH for wanting her to have a job… I had one at that age. But I was motivated by the fact I wanted spending money and independence for my robust social life. If she’s sitting around all day, doesn’t sound like she really has one.
rutabega writes:
Soft YTA. She studied hard and got perfect grades and her reward for finishing early and putting in all that effort to do it so efficiently she even has to wait to enter university is.... to get a job?
Sorry but your other kids got to be kids until they finished I'm assuming, so she doesn't get that because.. she... was to.. good.... wtf make that a HARD YTA. Let her enjoy the fruits of her labor, if you don't want her sitting around the house you should spend some time bonding and raising your kid so she doesn't get lazy.