Wedding day-of coordinator shares the ultimate nightmare: 'I'm considering a career change.' UPDATED

"Coordinating the absolute wedding from h$ll..."

I (28f) am a day of coordinator, all my experience started in the East coast, under a company, but I have recently moved to the West coast and thought I would try to do it on my own. Every time I had spoken to the bride about what she wanted her day to look like and what exactly she needed, inspiration photos, how she wanted things set up, there would be NO response.

I went to their rehearsal and they were an hour and a half late to the ceremony space and the officiant had to leave as she had other meetings and when I informed them of this, they told her to just leave. The officiant literally had not been paid on time, and at that point I did not get paid either even though final payment was due a day before.

I told them on the day of the wedding we CANNOT be so late. Then they tell me they also had a room for the kids and that I would need to set up art supplies and activities for them, so they asked me to drive to a different location the next day to pick up the stuff.

And because I’m just starting off with my own business, I do it, because I need good reviews and recommendations. The bride was also supposed to drop stuff off for me to set up the day before and didn’t do that so asked me to come to her place the next day to set up, which I did.

I came to their place at 8:30, and drove an extra hour to the venue because I went out of my way to get her things. She also gives me 3 envelopes of cash to give to some of the vendors.

Then I started setting up and showing her photos everything and she says she doesn’t like it. But…you don’t even tell me how you want your welcome table set up? And you don’t tell me what goes where?

Then there are giant photos of her and the groom she wants in the middle of the shared lobby and the other bride is not happy with it, so I move it slightly over and she gets mad at that, and her MOH is barking at me about a contract and how they had it.

So I speak to the vendor manager they are speaking with. And he says he has had an ongoing issue with these people because of this situation, and offers a solution but these people do not want it.

Then they arrive and get ready for the ceremony. And there is another ceremony in an hour and a half after theirs. They are an hour late. They also did not pay for a mic so there cannot be a mic as nothing’s set up. Then the groomsmen start yelling at me to find a mic somehow, it doesn’t matter where.

So I start asking even though I know its not possible. They also have a harpist and cellist who were playing for an extra hour because they were so late. Then they finally finish the ceremony. At this point vendors are starting to arrive and they are telling me that they have not gotten paid and they will not set up until they get paid. So I tell the maid of honor who tells me to get the money from her purse.

Which I really don’t feel comfortable doing but they are doing their photoshoot and they want their dessert cart for cocktail hour so I just get it. Turns out, this would not be the only time she asks me to do this because every single vendor that came had not been paid or their card on the file had been rejected.

I literally asked her every single time for cash, and made a record of it. And informed her what I took every single time. Then they start asking me to escort the children to the room and the babysitter will call if I need to escort them to the washroom or take them back to their parents…which I literally did not sign up for.

They also made the venue coordinator cry. And she had told me in her 19 years of service she had never experienced something so messy as this wedding. I literally was helping her with her DJ and coordination stuff. I helped her with EVERYTHING outside of the package that she had chosen.

I left 30 minutes early because I just couldn’t do it anymore. It was the end of the night and I packed up all their things and put it to the side and told them to take it to their car because I just could not do it anymore.

And all through the night the groomsmen kept making such inappropriate comments and harassing me. I’m really considering a career change because I cannot do this again.

UPDATE:

She messaged me yesterday and asked where I had put her disposable cameras and I told her with the table numbers and I didn’t hear back. She threatened the florist so I’ve been scared ever since. I also noticed she started putting her socials on private now. I’m just staying away and hoping I never have to hear from her again.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

hardlyevatoodrunktof said:

I get you are just starting out, but from what I understand, not paying you on time was breach of contract, and you should have noped out right then and there. You don't really expect good reviews from them anyway, do you?

Don't let clients screw you over, just take this horrible experience as a lesson on when to step back next time. Hope you have relaxing days for mental recovery ahead.

lughsezboo said:

Babe, this was a strong initiation moment to clarify to you what you will and will not tolerate as a business owner. You will be fine going forward and you will succeed because you have had a poster child “nah” moment to look to as a baseline for client behavior.

Please don't give up yet. Not yet. You have so many amazing future potential clients, and this was a test and now you know what to do. Best of luck and choices and all the success to you.

Midnightnox said:

I think this was a one and done. It's hard when you are first starting because you need reviews but once you build a base you can drop clients like this.

Disastrogirl said:

You need to have a timeline of when things are due. They were clearly a hot mess and you should have fired them when they refused to communicate with you. There is no way you could ever get a good review out of them since they never clearly told you what they wanted. Be prepared to cut your losses.

Jellybean385 said:

Now you got that out of the way, you know how to me more preventative and proactive. You got that initial s show out of the way first. When you are at 19 years in, you won’t cry because you already went through the worst!

Jellybean385 said:

This is going to be a great story and you will laugh about it someday. Congratulations on the new business and getting the worst wedding out of the way, right off the bat! Good luck to you! You earned experience that it takes some a lifetime to gain! Proud of you!