Woman asks if she's wrong to skip boyfriend's family funeral for sister's wedding.
When this woman misses an important funeral, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for not going to a funeral with my boyfriend because of my sister's wedding?'
Me (f26) and my sister, Ellie (f28) are very close. Ellie's getting married in about 3 weeks, I'm her MOH and it's all very exciting, but also stressful. Especially so close to the wedding making sure it all goes as smoothly as possible.
My boyfriend Jack's (m25) family is Canadian. They've recently had a family tragedy so Jack is flying out next week to attend the funeral. Of course I have no issue with him going, but he asked me to come as well.
I said sorry, that's really not possible since Ellie's wedding is coming up not long after and it's just a lot on my plate right now (and it's not like a simple drive, it's in a whole other country). I've been helping with a lot of the planning and generally being there for her, and Ellie doesn't want me to go now either.
Jack's been pretty upset and not talking to me much. People that know of this are torn, some are saying I'm right but a couple of people are telling me I'm being selfish. AITA?
Let's find out.
okconsideration writes:
YTA. I was almost on the other side of this until I saw the details. Your long term partner lost his brother & future sister in law and you can't miss a few days for the funeral?! Even if you fly at different times so you're not there as long as he is, you absolutely should be there to support him through this!
My MOH helped choose her outfit & the menu. She held my flowers during the ceremony and gave a speech/toast at the reception. My sister was my MOH and if her husband had lost his sister I wouldn't have cared if she missed the wedding.
mountaineffect8 writes:
Wow YTA! You specifically were vague in the post because you knew we would think so if you gave us the details? Per a comment, you and Jake have been together 5 years and it was HIS BROTHER AND HIS FIANCE who died??? Absolutely massive AH behavior.
'Being there for the bride as the MOH 3 weeks in advance of the wedding' is not a real excuse. I've been married, we've never leaned on our MOH or Best Man like that. Plus you can send a call or email from Canada if there is last minute planning needed. YTA, and your sister is TA as well for good measure for agreeing that you shouldn't go.
defire8 writes:
Definitely a massive AH.. Your partner should rethink this relationship. You are ready to let him travel alone when he’s pretty much going through a trauma i imagine. Losing his brother and SIL, I cannot even imagine how devastated he must be right now. He deserves a lot better..