Woman forbids husband from getting drink with mistress from 10 years ago. AITA?
When this woman feels upset when her husband wants to reconnect with an old flame, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for not wanting husband to get drink with someone he cheated on me with?"
I’ve been married to my husband for 4 years, but we've been together for total of 15 years. 10 years ago, when we were still dating, he cheated on me. We had been together for 2 years at this point.
The physical aspect of the affair lasted 6 months, but I believe there was emotional cheating and inappropriate intimacy for closer to 1 year before they stopped contact. It is my understanding that they rarely talk anymore, as we moved across the country.
He told me yesterday that she will be in town for a conference (she lives across the country in our home state, we live in a large West Coast city now), and asked if it was okay for him to get a drink with her. My initial thought is no - why would he even want to keep in touch with someone who caused me so much pain?
He was caught off guard. The cheating was close to 10 years ago at this point, it was before we were married, and I have no proof or suspicion of anything ongoing. Am I being unreasonable? In his defense, they were friends before anything physical happpened. AITA for telling him he can't get a drink?
Let's see what internet users have to say.
globalad359 writes:
I’m so sorry, I’m really not meaning to judge… but why in the hell did you marry this person? And WHY IN THE WORLD DOES YOUR POS HUSBAND THINK ITS OKAY TO GET TOGETHER WITH HER?!
You are NTA… but I really wonder what made you think it was smart to stay with someone that cheated on you for 6 months (or more) during your 2 year relationship back then…
The fact your husband even cheated on you in the first place and then even contemplated getting together with this woman shows he’s never loved you and shows he would be okay with cheating on you again or HAS been cheating on you with the same woman… this is WILD.
johnjohn9 writes:
NTA, you shouldn't even have to ask this. If someone cheats and wants to be forgiven the absolute minimum is no contact with the affair partner. He shouldn't even know that she is in town for the conference and definitely shouldn't be communicating with her enough to plan drinks with her.
Was he the one pointing out that the cheating was 10 years ago and before you were married? Don't allow him to minimize this, it doesn't matter how long ago it was and you were two years into your relationship - that's a serious relationship and cheating at that point is a serious offense.
DAH writes:
NTA - I hate to tell you but their emotional affair is still ongoing. If he knows she will be in town and it sounds like they have already planned this get together that he is now asking permission for.
I doubt she just hit him up out of the blue, sounds like they’ve been talking for quite some time if they ever stopped in the first place.