Woman's stepsister throws plates after she gets called 'the ugly stepsister.' AITA?
When this woman feels like she may have taken things too far, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for calling my stepsister the 'ugly stepsister' because she freaked out over a nickname?'
My (F29) family jokingly refers to me as “Princess/The Princess”, because I have a reputation for being opinionated and sensitive. This is mostly because of sensory issues, so certain noises or textures grate on me to an extent that I will leave the room or avoid touching things. I’m also just a picky person and I like things how I like them.
So my stepdad started referring to me as the Princess, like “don’t open the car window, the Princess will get upset”. My stepbrothers and mum use it as well. It’s a running family joke, well meant, I’ve never been offended by it in the 15 years it’s been a thing. My stepsister, Georgia (F30) hates it.
She used to snap whenever anyone said it but over the years she just started making the odd passive aggressive comment about it. Everyone ignores it, because Georgia has a habit of thinking everything is about her, and if it's not about her, the reason it's not about her is because we all hate her, which then is still about her.
So, our whole family is visiting my parents in the countryside for a couple of weeks. Georgia has brought her boyfriend Jason along. I’ve met Jason a couple of times before at dinners and he’s a nice guy, and he’s fit in well.
This morning, me and my mum were making breakfast and Jason came down and to help out. We normally have breakfast in the kitchen/diner so eventually everyone started gathering at the table.
We always make the tea and coffee last so it’s hot when we eat and we had all the mugs out and Jason offered to make the drinks. I told him not to do mine because I liked it made a very particular way, and he said “okay Princess I will just watch how you do it so I know for next time” and we laughed. It. Was. A. Joke.
The next thing we know, Georgia shouts she’s sick of everyone calling me. She then swore at Jason for being “just like them (us)”. She said since everyone thinks I’m so special what does that make her, and I replied “the ugly stepsister, obviously”.
No one said anything, but Georgia burst into tears, pushed her plate onto the floor (broke it) and went upstairs, and Jason ran after her. He’s since come down to apologise for her, she hasn’t come out of her room.
My stepbrothers are on my side, the parents say I should have just not said anything and she would have calmed down, and that I went too far picking at an insecurity. That might be true, but I’m sick of her making everything about her.
The joke doesn’t have anything to do with her, and I am (as are my stepbrothers) sick of her acting out to force everyone to behave how she wants them to. Am I the AH for taking the argument there?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
cataclysmc writes:
What you said very likely reflects how she sees herself in this dynamic. You paint her as self-centered, but I’d bet that she has felt subordinate to you her whole life, and is trying to claw back some of that attention for herself.
As ‘Princess’, your very particular needs and wants probably grate on the people around you to some extent. They have probably spent their lives catering to your picky personality, and under that friendly family joke lies a bit of real resentment. To be blunt, YOU are the center of attention, and YOU have become accustomed to it.
The way to fix this is to apologize to your sister, try and have a dialogue with her about this, and try to be a bit less particular in your own wants when it puts an extra burden on those around you. YOUR COMFORT IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN THOSE AROUND YOU. YTA.
cassowary writes:
YTA. You could have gone with invisible, ignored, former, forgotten, OG princess, you didn't have to say 'ugly' while flirting with her boyfriend. Clearly after the merged family, she felt replaced as the only girl by a high maintenance person who now gets all the attention.
jdessy writes:
YWBTA if you brought it up again. She's been dealing with this far, far, far longer than you have known about these methods. Trust me, whatever you think you're going to inform her of, she likely already knows. She has been dealing with this for at least half her life, if not longer.
As others have said, period panties are sometimes just regular underwear that has gotten stained that women tend to use during their periods so they're not accidentally staining other underwear. They're washed, so they are hygienic, just discoloured.
I would just move past it. She knows what she's doing far more than you. You may not be the asshole now for asking once, but I wouldn't ask again. Just move on, the stained underwear is perfectly fine and is not hurting anyone.