Woman storms out of own baby shower after BF's family makes her feel unwelcome. AITA?
When this woman is annoyed with her boyfriend's family, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for storming out of my baby shower after my boyfriend's family made me feel unwelcome?'
I (19F) am currently 7 months pregnant with my first child, and my boyfriend (21M) and I were really excited to celebrate with our family and friends at our baby shower last weekend. However, things didn't exactly go as planned.
My boyfriend's family is pretty traditional, and they weren't too happy that we were having a baby out of wedlock. They've been pretty distant and cold towards me since the announcement, but I thought that maybe the baby shower would be a chance for us to bond and put our differences aside.
Boy, was I wrong. From the moment I arrived, my boyfriend's aunt made snide comments about my age and how 'young mothers never know what they're doing.' Then, his brother asked if I was planning on getting a job after the baby was born, implying that I was just going to mooch off my boyfriend for the rest of my life or something.
Things really came to a head when my boyfriend's mom gave me a gift bag that was filled with baby clothes...in all pink. When I politely pointed out that we were having a boy, she rolled her eyes and said, 'Oh, well, I just assumed that since you're so young, you probably don't know the sex of your own baby.'
At that point, I was done. I stood up and announced that I didn't feel welcome there and that I was leaving. My boyfriend tried to convince me to stay, but I was so upset that I just walked out.
Now my boyfriend's family is calling me rude and ungrateful for storming out of my own baby shower, but I feel like they were the ones being disrespectful to me. I’m especially hurt that my boyfriend’s family thinks I can’t even care for my own child. AITA for leaving?
Let's find out.
wordsmtyh writes:
NTA. I would've added, 'I guess you aren't interested in being a part of your grandchild's life. Too bad you don't know the rule about being kind to the mother if you want to see the baby.'
dippingmytoes writes:
NTA - while it might sound harsh, you need to have an immediate and serious conversation with your boyfriend about how he is going to handle the situation going forward. If he is not willing to immediately step up and advise his family to stop their crap and treat you with respect, then you would be very well advised to start preparing to be a single mother.
Any person who would let their family treat their partner this way is not someone who will make a good parent. For your well-being and that of your child, this behavior needs to be corrected or they need to be removed from your life. You have no obligation to expose your child to their unkind treatment of you.
tinacsiv writes:
NTA. But what did your boyfriend do about all of this? Just stood there quietly while they insulted you? Did he leave with you? Since you are both so young (I have no doubt you'll be a great mom), he may not necessarily be a lost cause, he may simply have never thought about it.
It is something really important for you to think about. Your IL may or may not come around, you don't have to see them if they don't. Staying with someone who backs up those who insult you and asks you to take it in order to 'not rock the boat' is always a bad idea though.