'AITA for throwing my SIL out of my baby shower while she was having a panic attack?'
"AITA for throwing my SIL out of my baby shower while she was having a panic attack?"
Well I (33f) have been waiting 7 years for a baby I’ve had 6 heartbreaking miscarriages and a lot of failed IVF .So when I found out I was pregnant this time around I didn’t celebrate till I was 8 months pregnant for obvious reasons
Well me and my husband said we’d hold a baby shower with a gender reveal as a party game but the only rule was nether of us would pop the balloons (yes twins) till 8pm. If this isn’t obvious we held two different parties one for with each of our friends/family (gender mixed) but we would meet at my party at 10pm
Well you could imagine my shock when a lot of his side especially his mother and sister ended up at my baby shower at first I felt extremely happy & proud that they came. Everything was going good even his sister who usually makes herself the main character was having a good time
That was until it came to find out the gender look I know people will have comments about gender reveals being cheesy but since we have everything bought for our babies even the names picked out, realistically it was only a game that if you guessed right You’d win a bottle of wine or bath set.
We don’t care about the gender we both just wanted the whole pregnancy experience. Well at 8pm my sil comes in with the balloons saying my hubby put mil in charge of them ....well ok let’s pop those balloons already to move on to the name game
The confetti came out rainbow, my sil took centre stage and basically went on a long rant how we were trash for holding a gender reveal Mid speech I told her get out and when Mil told me she was right and it was her brother’s (my husbands home) so she had a right to be here.
I told her get out too since she probably knew she was going to do this (I can give examples in the comments, my husbands grandmother started ringing him about the situation and his cousins/aunts basically started telling them to leave
My sil was mid panic attack and my mil was crying when they left my house. My husband arrived about 10 minutes later and fair play to his grandmother/aunts/cousins they told him the situation and stuck up for me like it made me cry
So my husband just said “screw them we are having two beautiful daughters but I’d rather change one of their names to my granny’s instead of my mothers”
His dad and a few members of his family left after that because they said I was a monster for what I did to sil when I know her Issues and my husband took it too far with changing the babies names. Girls (real btw) names were gonna be Kayla and rose now they’re belle and rose for anyone wondering
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Info: just want to make sure I understand. Mil should have had balloons with pink confetti but because she wanted to spite you about having a gender reveal she filled them with rainbow confetti! Also, congrats on your twins. New names are beautiful!
auntie1010 OP responded:
Thank you and there’s a lot of back story with mil and sib If you don’t mind I’ll explain here
My mil and Sil wore white to my wedding and had a dance number because I’m Indian so traditionally we don’t wear white.my sil made two speeches that day about them thinking me the same as them even tho she made jokes about my bad English so after that I wanted to go low contact
So with the last few years they have made my miscarriages an event about them so my husband thought my mil going to my party and bringing the balloons with an expensive gift was a peace offering if that makes sense. Also he still had the piece of paper the doctor wore the gender he ordered the balloons
I personally think that gender reveals are terrible, but the time to express such opinions is in comment threads on the internet, not in the middle of her sister-in-law's baby shower, during a gender reveal game that she helped to arrange. You are NTA here.
auntie1010 OP responded:
I think gender reveal parties are cringe myself but after everything and all those years I wanna be that cringing pregnant lady for the next few weeks like even behind my better judgment I want to take pictures in a field with both me and my husband wearing that white maturity dress with rose crowns
kaj2113 said:
NTA. I have my own opinion about gender reveals but the time to display that opinion is not by hi-jacking someone's party and giving a speech. What in the world? I'm curious, how old is SIL?
Full_Fold_8732 said:
NTA but who hijacks a party like that? Are they generally awful people? Or does this seem like a one-off?
WorsePartOfValor said:
NTA for sending them out. If they wanted to say anything it should have been when they learned you were planning a gender reveal. Deliberately trying to change your celebration of a long-awaited event into a group criticism of you and your husband's choices is mean spirited and self centered.
Dioptre_8 said:
I personally think that gender reveals are terrible, but the time to express such opinions is in comment threads on the internet, not in the middle of her sister-in-law's baby shower, during a gender reveal game that she helped to arrange. You are NTA here.
Dazzling-Trick-1627 said:
Of course NTA. You ignored that your SIL was having a panic attack? She wouldn’t be having a panic attack if she hadn’t done some thing worthy of being asked to leave. Don’t start none, won’t be none.